For Soren

When I started this blog, almost 1 year ago, I was just trying it out to see if I would actually do it. After a few short months I was well on my way to adding "blogger" to my computer resume. I'm always happy to hear that others enjoy my blog, but really, I don't blog for them. I blog for my kids. I love to scrapbook, but in the past few years, I haven't found the time to do it. So, blogging is a great replacement! I hope to keep doing it for several years and eventually/periodically turn my words/pictures into a book via http://www.blurb.com/

Side: You'll have to excuse the crazy paragraphing in this blog entry. Blogger does NOT like to cooperate when you add photos, and I couldn't fix the random spacing between paragraphs...sorry. It doesn't even let you indent!

With that said, today is the 2 year anniversary of Soren's craniotomy (ie; brain surgery). And I wanted to document it before I forgot the details. I know that most of my blog readers already know the story...so don't feel bad if you don't want to read the novel I'm about to write.

It all started a few days after Soren was born. Adam and I were sitting on the couch watching some late TV and I was playing with Soren's fuzzy little newborn head. I noticed a strange bump on the back of his head that had a strange looking hair follicle with several hairs coming out of it...almost like a tail. I was immediately alarmed and tried not to think the worst...but I couldn't help it. Adam didn't seem too disturbed, but seeing the tears in my eyes prompted him to do a quick Google search. We found a few things, nothing alarming, so I was able to sleep OK that night. It might have been the next day that we had an appointment with the pediatrician, so, of course, we asked about it. Our regular doctor wasn't there, so we asked his replacement. She didn't seem alarmed and said that it was probably just a dermoid cyst. She had another doc come and look at it as well...he said the same. After a few weeks, we saw our doctor for another regular visit. I asked him about the bump as well...he said it was likely nothing and that the worst that could happen would be an infection. So, 3 doctors...same story.

I left the subject alone for a while and wasn't too worried about it. At Soren's regular 4 month visit to the pediatrician, I had decided that I wanted to discuss removal of the "cyst." The bump was right on the part of his head where he laid on it all the time, and I just wanted it out of the way so it didn't even have the chance to be bothersome. The doctor ordered x-rays and referred me to the ONLY pediatric dermatologist in the state; Dr. Kroll at OHSU...just to make sure I had nothing to worry about.

We got in to see Dr. Kroll a couple of weeks later. I don't really recall what he said...but he didn't give me any definite answers. He ordered that we schedule an MRI...again, just to be sure. He didn't know who should be removing this "cyst"...a neurosurgeon, or a cosmetic surgeon.

The MRI was scheduled for a couple of weeks later (mid-March)...Soren was around 5 months old. He needed to be sedated since it would last about 45 minutes. I was nervous. Starting his IV took a long time. They poked and poked and poked and almost gave up! Soren was an angel. He got a bit fussy, so they gave him some sort of narcotic in his nose that made him all goofy and he laughed at everything. It was SO funny! They successfully completed the MRI, so all we had to do was wait.

The next two months were kinda crazy! We sort of put the whole "cyst" drama on the back burner and finished up prepping out house for the market. We wanted to have it for sale by the end of April so we were busy replacing things, fixing things, and decluttering things. We hadn't heard anything from Dr. Kroll's office, so we assumed that everything was OK. I recall calling...but they still hadn't gotten the results. In the first week of April I severely hurt my back, took my first ambulance ride, and ended up bedridden for 3 weeks. After THAT, Adam put the house on the market, and we started our house search in Clatskanie. I think we even put in 2 or 3 offers at that time as well (we thought our house would fly off the market because houses were going like hot cakes in our area). CRAZY! Adam didn't even have a job in the area yet. God was surely watching over us by allowing those offers to be denied. The market was starting to tank and we had no idea what was in store for us in the month of June.

Sometime during all this craziness I think I got a call from Dr. Kroll's office. His intern said that he didn't find anything on the MRI, but that Dr. Kroll wanted us to see Dr. Selden, Head of Pediatric Neurosurgery at OHSU. Again...just to be sure.

After that conversation, I still felt pretty good about the whole thing. I really didn't think that Soren had anything weird going on. I just thought that all the doctors were just covering all the bases. We went to see Dr. Selden sometime at the end of May. He took one look at the bump and said something like... "I know exactly what this is! How on Earth did you find it??" "How did you know to come here?" "This is very rare, and they often go undiagnosed!" Truthfully, I was relieved. Somebody finally had a definite answer. I was beginning to feel like Soren was one of those cases on Discovery Health's Mystery Diagnosis. He told us that Soren had a "Dermoid Sinus"....a rare, non-hereditary birth defect. They only occur down the midline of the skull or spinal cord because it happens when the two halves come together and there is an incomplete separation of systems. Basically, it's skin/hair cells pinched in the skull/brain that can continue to grow (like a tumor) and eventually cause death. The Dr. said that it often goes either undetected or misdiagnosed. I even Googled it and couldn't find ANYthing on it occurring in humans...but in dogs (in my initial search). You have to dig deep to find anything on humans...and even then, some of the information is only located in Dr. Journals that are not available to the public.

Dr. Selden is a busy guy, so he didn't waste any time. He didn't think that the sinus tract went through the skull and on top of the brain, but he wanted to see if there were any skull deformities, so he ordered a CT scan. Within the next couple of days, we took him in ready for another sedation. Fortunately, they were able to do it without it. I can't remember, but I think we might have seen Dr. Selden that same day. He showed us the CT and there was an obvious dent in his skull. He explained a bit about how the surgery would go and we were off.

I wasn't all too worried. It sounded as if they weren't going to have to cut into his skull and that the surgery would be fairly uncomplicated. We took Soren to complete a battery of blood tests and took a quick pre-surgery tour of the Doernbecher facilities. I wasn't expecting the surgery to be scheduled too soon, so I was surprised to get a call from the scheduler within a day or two. Soren was set to have surgery the next week! I was a bit stressed because my family was set to be on the East Coast that week and I had to find a way to juggle Synnove. My mom-in-law had just got a new job and her schedule was fragile...so, we planned for her take Synnove the first night, then Adam would watch her the second night, and I the third.

A couple of days before his surgery, my brother graduated from high school. I was able to fill everyone in on what was to happen, and we got many promises for prayer. My Grandma Q. and Aunt Suzi were very concerned that my parents weren't going to be there, so they told me they would try their best to be there for the surgery. Pastor Jagger said the same. I really didn't feel I needed the support...then again, I didn't really know what I was in for.

Bright and early Monday morning, we headed to the hospital. We thought we would be the first surgery of the morning, but our starving Soren had to wait a bit. He was very good...smiley and friendly. A lady came and took his picture and told us to fill out an "About Me" poster to hang on Soren's room door...for fun. Shortly after that, we said our goodbyes and headed to the waiting room. Grandma, Aunt Suzi, and Pastor were all there. Even Katie (Suzi's daughter) stopped by, as she was working in the phlebotomy lab there. And as the hours drug on, I was extremely grateful for the distraction. As I recall, the surgery was only supposed to last 2-3 hours...so when the 4th hour passed, we all got a little antsy. There weren't any updates through the front desk, and after a while Aunt Suzi was ready to demand some answers. Finally, we got a report that they were finishing up and that the Dr. would be out soon to talk to us.

Dr. Selden came out and called Adam and I back for a chat. He basically apologized for how long the surgery was, saying that he certainly wasn't expecting to have to do "the full meal deal" (his exact words). He then told us that he was completely shocked to find a whole peanut sized mass on the inner brain membrane that should have been visible on the MRI. He was very positive about the whole thing and felt 99.9% confident that he got it all out. We finished our chat and went out to wait for Soren. They brought him right through the waiting room to head down the hall to the PICU. Soren was up, bright-eyed, and looking around. Although, I was taken aback when I saw the horrendous, exposed incision.

Our PICU nurse was in love with Soren...in fact everyone that came in contact with him fell in love with him. Soren maintained his "happy" disposition for the first couple of days. The first night was no fun...as he was quite ill. And since he didn't have anything in his stomach, it was especially heartbreaking. He stayed one night in the PICU, but he almost had to stay longer because the hospital was so full. They eventually found us a room in the children's cancer center.

Soren was connected to so many machines in the PICU, it was really hard to hold him. I was scared to hold him...he seemed so fragile.

I think this video was taken the day after surgery.

Once in a regular hospital room, we felt like we could relax a bit. The room in the cancer ward was especially nice...complete with a computer and Internet access. We were grateful to them for taking us in, as they don't like to have to care for non-cancer patients. I was surprised over and over during our long hospital experience to get compliments on how well we cared for our little boy and how we made their job so much easier. I didn't feel like I was doing hardly ANYthing! The nurses at Doernbecher are absolutely fabulous!

Anyway, I was really sad to see Adam go home that second night. Unlike being in the PICU, the regular hospital rooms are a bit lonely. Before Adam left, Ann came for a visit! We were grateful for all of our visitors! Shannon, Faith, Katie, Elise...Thank you! Anyway, being alone the second night was torturous. Soren still wasn't well and wasn't eating much more than Pedialyte. All through the night, in a semi-conscious state, it seemed as if he was trying to push (having a BM) and then it turned into grotesque dry heaves. Over and over it would happen. I kept asking the nurse if we could give him a suppository laxative...but she said "we aren't supposed to" (I think that rule was exclusive to cancer patients). It wasn't until several hours later that another nurse came in to help. She said "why don't you give him a suppository laxative?" The nurse told her the same thing she said to me...so she decided to persuade the poop our herself. I won't explain what she did...but it worked! I thought the heaving would stop after that...but it didn't. I was a nervous wreck! I thought that the sickness would have worn off after a day...cause I thought it was a reaction to anesthesia. Nobody had any answers. I didn't find out till later that the nausea was coming from the swelling of the brain...making him "seasick."

I didn't sleep a wink that night, and Soren was miserable. I needed distraction so I struck up a conversation with the nurse...she was younger than me! After a while she had to get back to work. A bit later, I propped the door open and asked the nurse to keep a close eye while I took a walk to clear my thoughts a bit. I tried not to call Adam till a reasonable hour. I explained the horrid night and couldn't wait for him to come see us.

Later, he brought Synnove. Of course, she was in carpenter jeans, and Carhartt sweatshirt, and her hair was done the best he could manage. Synnove was very apprehensive (only 2 at the time) and didn't say much. This, and the time before and after, was especially hard for Synnove. I think the picture below was taken while Shannon was visiting and just a few short minutes before he threw up all over Adam. Lovely.

Shortly after they came, I took Synnove home with me. Adam is SO good with the kids and I had absolutely no doubt that Soren would be well cared for. If not for that, I couldn't have gone home so easily. After two nights of no sleep, I was happy to curl up in my bed for some undisturbed sleep. That night was the 1st night since Soren's birth that I got to sleep all the way through!

The next day, Synnove and I headed back to the hospital to pick everyone up. Hooray! We had made it through, and were going home! That morning, Adam had gotten Soren to eat baby food and formula, and he managed to keep it down. But...it came up again on the way home. Soren was such a trooper...he really was good considering the circumstances. This photo was taken in the parking lot...

The night we came home, we had some people coming to look at our house. We were selling it ourselves, so we had to do all the dirty work. The people were very nice, loved the house, and stayed to talk to Adam for quite some time. They had a little girl that was quite friendly and wanted to play with Synnove (she must have been 4-5). Actually, the girl was a bit too friendly and made herself at home. She really was a nice little girl, but I could tell that Soren was getting a bit uncomfortable. I certainly didn't want him throwing up in front of future buyers...so I had to sort of sneak upstairs and "shew" the girl away (I know...sounds terrible). My prediction was right, and Soren made his mess upstairs...phew!

The next few days were OK, but still not great. I became a nag at the pediatric neurosurgery department...calling all the time...wondering why Soren didn't seem to be getting any better. They were always very nice, and tried to reassure me that what he was experiencing was normal. I remember that Saturday (about 5+days after surgery) was the first day he didn't throw up. My parents got back from their trip and mom came for a quick visit. She and Elise were busy preparing for the opening of Elise's coffee shop in a month. Anyway, when she came, she noticed how skinny he was and how pale he still was. I was still optimistic...hoping that would all pass once he started eating regularly again. Here he is eating strawberries from the garden...

On the night of the 12th (about 1 week post-surgery), I put Soren down for a nap. He woke a bit later and threw up a little bit. Gosh darn nit! I found it odd, and immediately told Adam. Of course, he was thinking clearly, and asked if he had a temperature. I took it, and he did have a small fever. I immediately called neurosurgery...and some on-call guy basically said it was no big deal and that if it went up we should go to the hospital. No big deal!? The kid just had brain surgery! We checked his temp again a short time later and it was higher. We immediately called Adam's mom to come over and took Soren to Tuality Hospital in Hillsboro (5 minutes from our house).

The ER wasn't busy and took us back pretty quickly. We weren't there very long when they told us that Dr. Selden wanted us back at OHSU and would provide an ambulance if needed. We opted no, and headed straight there. It was late at night and the ER at OHSU was...interesting. It took them a bit to get us in, and by that time Soren's fever was getting worse. We were put into our own room with a TV. We were literally there all night until morning.

The ER was hell for Soren...and for Adam and I. They thought he might have a urinary tract infection, so they stuck a tube up his *ahem* They tried starting an IV...over and over and over again. It was complete torture. Finally, they put one in his head with fluids and antibiotics. THEN, they decided to do a spinal tap to see if his spinal fluid was infected. They thought it would be best for us to leave the room while they did that. We heard his screams through the glass door. All during this time, Soren's fever had made him lethargic. All he did was sleep...thankfully. He woke in the morning and watched Sesame Street with a smile on his face.

Obviously, his fever was down. We were just waiting on the cultures taken from his spinal fluid. Turns out, they did find a small infection in his urine...but they didn't feel that would have caused his fever. That morning, they admitted him at Doernbecher.

Patty needed to get to work, so my mom came from the coast to pick up Synnove. We didn't know how long we were going to be staying at the hospital...but it seemed as if things were looking up. Soren was happy and we were just waiting for the cultures and for Dr. Selden to evaluate him. Patty came during her lunch break. She was a welcome sight, as I was in need of some moral support. Below is Patty and Soren having a little nap...the bandage around his head is holding his IV in place.

While she was there, the Dr. came and felt that Soren was fine and they were prepping the discharge papers. While we were left to wait, Soren had a BM. As he pushed, fluid started dripping like a leaky faucet out of his inscision. Uhh...emergency! The nurse came in (awesome nurse that was with us for most of the rest of our hospital stay) and tried to be calm. She immediately called back Dr. Selden. As I recall, he came within the hour, looked at Soren, and cleared his evening schedule for emergency surgery. It was at that point that I didn't feel I could hold it together any longer.

Patty called her work and stayed with us until he got out of surgery that night. And we were thankful to see Grandma and Grandpa Thompson waiting for us in the waiting room after we sent Soren off. God was not only watching over our little boy, but watching over us as well. We were in great need of company that night.

I really don't remember how long the surgery lasted. All I know is that the Dr. went back in to find that some of the stitches around where he patched a hole in the "dura membrane" were deteriorating and that's where the leak came from. To this day, I feel that all the pressure on his head/brain from being sick for so many days was what caused the deterioration. That's part of the reason why I was so frightened for what the next few days would bring. I still was made to believe that a lot of his initial sickness came from the anesthesia and I didn't want to have to go through it all again. What if Soren had to have another surgery??

When Soren came out of surgery, he was quite cranky. He was officially traumatized, and feared anyone in scrubs. When we were called in to see him, I took a quick gander to assure that he was OK, and then sat back and cried. I tried to pray...but I couldn't even concentrate. Patty sat next to me for my own comfort while we watched the recovery team monitor his every move. Adam stayed near Soren.

That night, in the PICU, things went very well. Soren didn't get sick. I was baffled...so I asked the nurse. She said that people (including children) don't get sick off the anesthesia unless they are allergic. I guess all of his sickness was from brain swelling. And because the 2nd surgery didn't require the Dr. to go all the way to the brain, Soren was in the clear! He was drinking formula by early the next morning!

We spent the next week in the hospital. Intel was very flexible and Adam was able to do some work on his computer from the hospital room (ethernet). Synnove was in good hands at my parent's house. I think she even got to help paint the inside of Elise's new coffee shop! Soren was hooked up to some intense antibiotics 4 times a day on a pump for 1 hour at a time. Somehow we filled our days with things to do...mostly eating and watching TV. I recall watching The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe over and over, and America's Got Talent. I did some laundry periodically and visited with parents of cancer patients while I waited for a washer to open up. I praised God for the health of my baby...that he didn't have to go through what their kids had to go through. We even listened to a little concert down in the lobby after Soren got his Picc line (free from conventional IV).

Here's a bunch of photos from that week...

I don't remember many visitors. Elise came when she was visiting a friend from school, and Grandma Q. and Suzi came and brought us a basket of munchies!

Katie...making the blood draw rounds as an intern...just happened to be training at Doernbecher on a day that Soren needed a poke. He's not too happy.

Happy boy...after the swelling in his face had gone down.

All of this happened before he learned to crawl.

He got some ballons from Grandma Patty

Apple juice

It was hard trying to keep him happy confined to our room. He loved the few short jaunts we were able to take outside the door.

Leaving...for good this time!

Before we left the hospital, we were told that Soren did have a small infection in his spinal fluid. We had to continue to give him IV antibiotics at home for the next 2-3 weeks on the same schedule using his new Picc line (an internal line that goes up the arm to the heart). That whole time was arduous and nerve wracking. The evening we came home, the home care people came to give us a training session on how to be sterile, how to put the pump on, etc. After 2 days, we were pros. We had to administer the stuff for an hour every six hours on the dot. Most times his line would get kinked in his shoulder, and we would have to hold his arm up the entire time. He rarely complained. Adam and I couldn't really take turns doing the night shift cause he had to work in the morning. I was exhausted.

After the 2nd surgery, his inscision protruded from his head quite a bit because they wanted to make sure it was good and tight. Dr. Selden assured me it would eventually go flat.

My parents kept Synnove for a few more days after we got home to give us some adjustment time with Soren. She was still very unsure about Soren's ordeal. She was a welcome sight when they brought her back!

Because of his Picc line, we could only give him sponge baths...he hated them.

In this pic, Soren's pump is connected and sitting in the back pouch of the backpack.

Soren got his Picc line out on July 6th...just over a month after the whole thing started. We went on to have a crazy summer trying to sell our house, etc. He had a follow-up MRI on the Friday before Labor Day (1st day of camping trip). I took him myself, while Adam stayed back and packed up the Explorer to head off to Naselle for camping. During sedation, Soren kept waking up and waving at the nurses/anesthesiologists. They were baffled and amused by his strange resistence to the drugs. They had to re-drug him twice...so he was pretty out of it for the rest of the day. His MRI came back clear.

Through all of this, I have learned--yet again--that God is in control. No matter what happens, he knows our pain and can guide us through any obstacle life has to offer. All the glory belongs to Him!! Without Him, I might have never decided to have his "harmless cysct" removed, and I could have lost my baby by the time he was 3 years old.

Every time I hear the first verse of that new song "Always" by Building 429 I get a lump in my throat. Especially the part where the verse says:

"He would have been 3 today

I miss his smile

I miss his face..."

"But I believe always, always

our Savior never fails..."

Click HERE to hear the song.


Here's Soren's scar today. I couldn't get him to sit still so it's a bit blurry. It's white and completely flat.

Soren has another MRI coming up in September. They just want to make sure that they got everything out and that nothing has grown back. Keep him in your prayers, and I'll post an update when the time comes. Thanks again and again to all of our friends and family who gave us loads of prayers and support during the entire ordeal.

I love you so, so much my Sweet Guy.

~Mom

My Little Helper

Synnove may be a stubborn little stinker sometimes, but she has a knack for brightening my day. Last week, while I was downstairs cleaning, Synnove came down to tell me that she had cleaned her sink and that I needed to come see. I told her she had to wait a bit cause I was right in the middle of something. A bit later I come upstairs and she reminds me about the sink, so I go in to look. She had cleaned up all the crusty toothpaste, had somewhat organized the clutter, and had nicely draped the towel over the stools. I said "Wow, nice job, what did you use to clean it with?" She was hesitant at first, but then quietly said "My toothbrush..."

The Best Way to Say Goodbye

It is truly wonderful how great loss or tragedy can bring people together. It was a blessing to me to see how our family has coped with the loss. And, at the risk of seeming morbid, I wanted to share a few photos from the week. Grandpa Henry will be missed by many...the funeral was a packed house...standing room only. People came from near and far to say goodbye to their dear friend, and it spoke volumes about the great man that he was. Thanks to all for your kind words and prayers.

We all spent our days and evenings at Grandma's house. The great-grandkids enjoyed reading books and playing games with Grandma. They were a great diversion. The rest of us just hung out and ate LOTS of food! Lots of people brought food by the house and she had many many beautiful bouquet deliveries. On Thursday, all of us girls took Grandma shopping for a new outfit for the funeral. She has recently lost some weight and didn't have anything to wear. Needless to say, she wasn't keen on going at first, but thanked us for a great time in the end.

The funeral was Saturday. Like I said, the church was packed and people started arriving 40 minutes early. There were some technical difficulties and the sideshow that Henry and a friend made had to be watched on a small TV screen. Fortunately, Henry was able to bring his TV from home and show it at the reception so that the people sitting in the back could get a chance to see it as well. Grandma was happy that Ann (Tierney) could finagle her work schedule so that she could come and sing. She sang Amazing Grace beautifully...as usual. The casket was perfect and the bouquet on top was adorned with gill netting "accessories"....one of Grandpa's favorite things to do.

The weather was pretty bad, but a flood of cars still followed the casket to the cemetery for the internment. The wind was blowing the rain sideways and umbrellas were turning inside out. Thank goodness we're Oregonians...we can handle it =)

After that, we all met at the Warrenton Community Center for food and fellowship. It really was a nice time.

We all hung out and watched movies again that night and planned to meet up again on Sunday. It was Adam's birthday, so Grandma made an effort to make him his favorite...pecan pie. She got it started, but had to run to the hospital to take care of her mother who had an infection (nothing earth-shattering...but Great-Grandma Backe is 98 years old!). As if Grandma didn't have enough to deal with already! Anyway, the pie somehow got finished, we ate a great dinner, and ended the week on a happy note.

Henry August Balensifer Jr.

June 2nd, 1930 - March 11th, 2009

Farewell Grandpa Henry

It was only an hour ago that I found out that my Grandpa Henry died. He has been ill for quite some time now, and his passing is not a shock. But still, saying goodbye to someone that you love is always painful. I actually didn't know Grandpa all that well...in fact, he was always a bit scary to me. He was often gruff and liked his beer. I remember as a kid, when I would call to talk to grandma, he would answer in a low, impatient, yet slow "hello." I would say, "hi, is grandma there?" and he'd recognize my voice. He'd perk up and say "well, hello Miss Nicole, how are you?" I always loved that he called me "Miss Nicole"...he always made me feel like a lady.

Mr. And Mrs. Henry and Barbara Balensifer

I have few memories of spending time with my Grandpa, but the ones I do have always involve a good time. He never went camping with us, but he always hauled the trailer down to Spruce Run and back so we could camp with Grandma. I remember packing meat in his shop and helping with the labels...I was probably 5 or 6. I only went fishing a few times, but we took trips on the boat even if we weren't fishing. My dad was always with us. Dad spent a lot of time with Grandpa...hunting and fishing. The best was when they would go crabbing. I have quite a few memories of eating warm crab right out of the cooker at Grandpa's house. One of my favorite things to do was hang out while all the guys worked on the fishing nets. I loved laying on the big net piles and sorting cork floats and weights.

I have many memories of Christmas...like the first Christmas I spent with him. I was 5 and he had given all 3 grandkids (at the time) our own wooden rocking chairs. I've since forgotten the story, but I'm pretty sure he made them and he also painted our names on them. Of course, I still have mine. He was very artistic and good with his hands. When he was on fishing trips in Alaska, he would send me postcards written in perfect print...so perfect, he could have his own font in Microsoft Word! He was always very thoughtful when it came to giving gifts and liked to play jokes or wrap things with boards and duct tape. One year, when he gave Grandma a big fat heirloom diamond ring, he cleverly wrapped it in several layers...almost like a puzzle. I think the ring eventually came out of a notch carved out of a piece of wood.

In the last handful of years, his health has been slowly deteriorating. With that, he also acquired a bit of dementia. He was often confused, and repeated things...but he was also a lot more mellow and polite. Grandma always worried about him, especially when he was out on a drive. Grandpa drove a LOT. He would slowly cruise around Warrenton, checking up on family and friends several times a day by driving by their house. He's a retired Game Cop...so it's all in the routine. Without his daily drives, his wife, and his Jack Russel Terrier "Jackie," he would have had little else to do.

I feel very blessed to have had the opportunity to paint the inside of his house last October. If it had been a few years ago...Wendy and I wouldn't have even been allowed to paint because Grandpa would likely have had a fit. But, he did little complaining and a whole lot of joking around. He was so pleasant to be around and I had fun kidding around with him for those 4 days.

Not long after that, I found out that Grandpa had been attending church with Grandma. What a shocker THAT was! AND, he wanted to get baptized! Praise the Lord! All of us, especially Grandma, had been praying for many years for the day that he would turn his life around. So, without much delay...as we knew the end could be soon...he was baptized in a small ceremony with just family and a few friends from church. It was amazing! What's even more amazing is that his baptism only occurred 1 month ago. And now he's singing with the angels in heaven.

Grandpa's Baptism 2-8-09

Farewell Grandpa Henry, I'll see you in a few years (hopefully 50-60!).

SYNNOVE ELISE!!!

Before I begin, I'd like to preface that Synnove has been working on learning how to think before she acts. I have said to her many many times..."Synnove, when you are doing something, or you want to do something, you need to think in your head, 'would mommy or daddy think that it's ok for me to do this?' and if the answer is 'no' then you need to tell yourself to stop. If the answer is 'I don't know,' then you need to come ask mommy or daddy if it's ok first before you do it." It's hard raising this head-strong 4-year-old, so this is the book I'm reading...


With that said...

It all started on Thursday, the morning we woke with snow. Synnove wanted to go outside in the morning, but Soren wasn't feeling well and I had some business to deal with on the phone/computer. I told her we would go out, but that she needed to wait a bit. A bit later, I'm downstairs and I hear the doorbell ring several times (it's like 9AM). I knew it was one of the kids and was NOT happy that they had decided to venture outside on their own without telling me. I open the door to see Synnove in her footie jammies and her snow pants/boots. Frantic, I ask where Soren is, and she tells me..."out here somewhere..." My heart skips a beat, but am soon relieved to see that Soren was still inside. I give Synnove a good "talking to" and dress Soren up for the cold. I had been interrupted and was still in the middle of doing something, so I told the kids that I would be out in a few minutes. Letting them outside on their own is something I've done for quite some time, as they have proven themselves to stay within the invisible boundaries.

Ten or so minutes later, I venture outside. It's a beautiful day, there's snow on the ground, and there's not a sound in the air. No sound at all...none...nill...nada. I'm not panicking yet, but am yelling around the property for Synnove. No response. I look towards the field and see two sleds and two abandoned snow coats. My heart begins to pound. By now, I'm running around and screaming Synnove's name. Silence. I begin to think the worst, but convince myself that no bear or mountain lion would be roaming in such broad daylight...or would they?? Finally, I hear a faint voice and realize that at least one of the kids is down by the little stream. This stream is down a very long and fairly steep bank off the side of our property. Synnove has NEVER gone down there alone, and knows she isn't allowed. By now, I'm shaking and almost in tears, but greatly relieved. Without hesitation, I begin to make my way down. I can't see the kids yet, but at least I can hear them. Synnove isn't phased as I grab her arms and begin to frantically explain how terrified I was and how terribly WRONG she was do go down there...etc. Soren was near tears and telling me how cold he was. He was actually across the small creek and it was interesting trying to get him over the awkward path. I had already ordered Synnove to make her way to the house while I gathered up Soren. We went inside and didn't play outdoors for the rest of the day.

Earlier that morning, I had told the kids that Soren's room was off limits for the day. I had the humidifier set up next to his bed from the night before, didn't want to move it, and didn't want the kids tempted to touch it. The humidifier has been in either Synnove's or Soren's room for the last month as they have been trading sickness back and forth and have not had a problem touching it in the past...however, I didn't want to take the chance since the set-up in Soren's room was more accessible and elaborate. Anyway, I did catch them in there standing on TOP of Soren's built-in desk sometime later. I ordered them down, reminded them they weren't to be in there, and shut the door as best I could (his door doesn't shut).

The day went on, the kids freaked the poo out of me (creek story), I cleaned the house, Adam came home, blah, blah, blah. Bedtime came around and I walked into Soren's room to find that the entire contents of the humidifier (proly 3/4 gallon of water) had been dumped on the carpet. We found out that Synnove knew all about it and practically laughed in our faces. UNbelievable!! Adam "dealt" with her while I soaked two full bath towels with the water from the carpet and gave Soren a lecture on how he needed to make sure to tell Synnove "no" if she ever tried to get him to do something that he knew was wrong and to come tell mommy. That would have been the second time he'd heard that lecture that day.

As if the events of Thursday weren't enough...wait till you hear about Saturday...

On Saturday, we were set to leave in the morning to help Adam's mom move some things from her place to ours...as she is moving to Seattle to care for her parents and needs a place to store some excess. It was about 15 minutes before we were to leave. I was finishing getting dressed, Adam was gathering tie-downs and tarps outside, and the kids were ready and playing downstairs till we were to leave. Each of the kids has a separate baby monitor in their rooms so I can usually hear whatever is going on downstairs. It sounded like they were in Synnove's room playing some sort of game. Synnove kept saying "let's do purple" or "let's do orange" and saying "HIDE!!" whenever Adam opened the front door. I was trying to hurry and get ready, so I didn't check on them right away...but then my suspicions got the better of me. I make my way down to her room to find her door shut. I open it in complete HORROR!! At first I didn't know what I was even looking at. There was some sort of purple goo all over the carpet, sheets, their clothes, hair, etc. Soren's head was the worst...it was completely covered in it! Two seconds later I realize that they had gotten into my craft drawers in the utility room and grabbed craft glue (orange cap), and purple fabric paint. Again, this is something they have NEVER done before (getting into my craft drawers)! And, of course, Synnove was the instigator, as Soren doesn't even know how to open a door and couldn't even get into the utility room if he wanted to.

I was beyond words. No amount of me yelling, lecturing, etc. was ever going to make a dent in this disciplinary act of parenting after the lack of Synnove's remorse from Thursday's incidents, AND the fact that, despite the look on my face...Synnove, again, was laughing without the fear of the inevitable pain that was going to be on her backside.

Without hesitation, I went out the front door to yell at Adam to come and take care of Synnove (and Soren too). I had informed him that he had better be ticked off and ready to be firm...as he has a tendency to be a softie. Synnove knows that when daddy is the one dishing out the discipline, then she must be in some pretty serious business! Anyway, Adam and I both made it clear to them that what they did was...well, not good. I really wanted to take a picture of the kids before their bath, but didn't want to condone their bad behavior by making a humorous spectacle of them. Instead, I took pictures of their spoils everywhere else (see below).

We made it out the door relatively on time despite the delay. The kids behaved well during the long day of packing and driving. We didn't expect anything less from them, especially since their morning was so...so...something...I can't think of a good word for it. The truck was jam-packed in back, as well as in the cab. By about 3:30 we were on our way home. Grandma Patty had given them some things to take home, as well as some sidewalk chalk that they played with while we loaded the truck. Synnove had several things to keep her occupied, and it wasn't until we got home and I took her out of her seat that I realized what she had done. She had taken pink sidewalk chalk to her face, the window, side panel, and a brand new white lampshade (one of the things were were taking home from the move). SYNNOVE ELISE!!!! Let's just leave it at that.

Their clothes just after the fabric paint incident (of course they were wearing non-play-clothes)

This isn't a very good portrayal of the carpet, but her carpet is stuck this way until it gets replaced someday. Fortunately, the carpet in her room is already trashed. They also ruined Synnove's bed skirt and filled the play shopping cart (right) full of purple as well.

You can see the two tools of destruction on the right.

This is what I found in the utility room. I don't know HOW they found the craft glue as it would have been buried in my large scrapbooking cart. The fabric paint is something I forgot I even had. It was stashed in a drawer, in a white bag. They would have had to do some digging to find it.

Below is what was left AFTER I washed everything. They not only ruined their clothes and Synnove's sheets, but they also ruined MY favorite baby blanket...made by my Aunt Cindi 28 years ago. Needless to say, Saturday was a sad day in the Brown House.

I'm Having a Lazy Day

Things I've done...A survey....

Started your own blog – Duh

Slept under the stars – I have, but not for an entire night

Played in a band – From 5th grade till I was a Sophomore in college...clarinet

Visited Hawaii – Nah...I don't look too good in a bathing suit

Watched a meteor shower – Yes

Been to Disneyland/world – Disneyland twice, Disneyworld once, and EURODisney once

Climbed a mountain - You know, when I was visiting Austria I climbed the "mountain" to get to the salt mines...I think I'll take the tram next time.

Held a praying mantis – Uh...NO

Sang a solo - Quite a few unfortunately

Bungee jumped – Never

Visited Paris – Yes

Watched a lightning storm at sea – Never at sea...but near the sea...does that count?

Taught yourself an art from scratch – I learned how to cross-stitch...but that's pretty easy, and I don't really know if it's an art.

Adopted a child – No

Had food poisoning – I was at preschool...they took us on a field trip to McDonald's. 1/2 of us were throwing up on the way home. And despite many reports of food poisoning to McDonald's, they denied it.

Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty – Saw her from a plane once

Seen the Mona Lisa in France – Yeah, but it's was amongst a huge crowd of people. Who knew such an ugly painting would be the most popular at the Louvre?

Slept on an overnight train – Twice. I wouldn't recommend it.

Had a pillow fight – I've been in a handful

Hitchhiked – no

Taken a sick day when you’re not ill – I think I might have used that excuse in College a couple of times when I stayed up way too late the night before.

Built a snow fort – Nope

Held a lamb – only petted one

Gone skinny dipping --Have YOU??

Been to a Broadway show in NY – I went to 3 in London

Been in three states at once - Nope

Ridden in a gondola in Venice – Naw...seemed like a waste of souvenir money

Seen a total eclipse - Yes, a total lunar eclipse...but I'd love to live to see a solar one someday.

Watched a sunrise or sunset – Seen many beautiful sunsets when I worked at the Shilo in Seaside during winter breaks.

Hit a home run – Maybe once or twice

Been on a Cruise – No

Seen Niagara Falls in Person -No

Visited the birthplace of your Ancestors – No

Seen an Amish community – No

Taught yourself a new language – No

Had enough money to be truly satisfied – Money-Shmuney...

Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person- No

Gone rock climbing – Not my bag

Seen Michelangelo’s David – Yeah, I was really impressed with how HUGE the statue was...I had no idea!

Sung karaoke - once or twice

Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt – No

Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant – I recall buying a vagrant some Cheetos when me and some friends were stranded with a "nearly" broken down car in some remote central Oregon location.

Visited Africa – Don't really have a desire to go there

Walked on a beach by moonlight - Ahh...young love

Been transported in an ambulance- Sadly, yes...when I hurt my back 2 years ago. How humiliating.

Gone deep sea fishing – I'll leave that to the professionals

Seen the Sistine Chapel in person – I wanted to take a picture so badly...but was afraid of getting in trouble.

Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris – We made it on the last trip up for the night...it was lovely at dusk.

Gone scuba diving or snorkeling – Nope

Kissed in the rain -Adam and I enjoyed our young romance =)

Played in the mud – A couple of times as a kid...but, for the most part, I always liked to be clean.

Been to Grace Kelley’s grave in Monaco- Uhh...no

Gone to a drive-in theater – There was one in Newberg where I went to college...but I never went.

Visited the Great Wall of China- no

Started a business- no

Taken a martial arts class- no

Swam in the Mediterranean Sea- no

Visited Russia- no

Served at a soup kitchen- no

Sold Girl Scout cookies – yeah, but Girl Scouts fizzled for me after only 1 year

Gone whale watching-While on the fairy in BC I saw a handful of whales...we were on a high school band trip.

Gotten flowers for no reason – maybe once for no reason whatsoever

Donated blood, platelets or plasma – No...but maybe someday

Gone sky diving - Never

Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp – Dachau in Germany...very creepy and sad.

Bounced a check – Never on purpose

Saved a favorite childhood toy – Not so much toys, but childhood mementos

Visited the Lincoln Memorial – No

Eaten Caviar - sounds yucky

Pieced a quilt – too tedious for me

Stood in Times Square- no

Toured the Everglades- no

Been fired from a job - laid off

Seen the Changing of the Guards in London – I missed that to go see Les Miserables

Broken a bone – only toes

Been on a speeding motorcycle – Of course.

Seen the Grand Canyon in person-no

Published a book- no

Visited the Vatican – Obviously, if I've been to the Sistine Chapel

Bought a brand new car - Nope

Walked in Jerusalem- no

Had your picture in the newspaper – yes

Read the entire Bible- I'd like to say yes...

Visited the White House – No

Killed and prepared my own meat – No, I let daddy and hubby do that.

Had chickenpox- I didn't get them till the 8th grade. Me, my sis, and bro all had them at the same time. I remember laying on the living room floor with a big blanket and lots of pillows and watching The Great Race over and over again.

Saved someone’s life – Maybe unknowingly!

Sat on a jury - I've always managed to get out of it.

Met someone famous - I met Randy Travis while in Vegas. And no, I'm not a country fan, he just happened to be in the hotel lobby.

Joined a book club- no

Lost a loved one- yes

Had a baby- yes

Seen the Alamo in person- no

Swam in the Great Salt Lake- no

Been involved in a law suit –No, but I did have to identify a suspect once. I didn't pick out the right guy...so they didn't ask me to testify. Thank goodness!!

Owned a cell phone- My boyfriend (Adam) bought me my first cell phone when I was a junior in college so that we could save on long distance charges. It was pink =)

Been stung by a bee- I only recall being stung once at the Regatta Parade back when I was like 10. It was totally unprovoked.

What a Morning

First of all, Synnove woke up and pooped her pants. No, this isn't a normal occurrence...so I thought I had a sick girl on my hands. As if a sore throat, fever, stuffy nose, and throwing up in the last 2 weeks wasn't enough!!! She then proceeded to do it again....AND again within 20 minutes time. She's wearing a diaper today...but has told me she's feeling quite well.

I'm feeling much better this week and have decided to take on exercising again. I went on the elliptical for only 35 minutes, but at least it was something. I was interrupted twice during that time to wipe Synnove's bum. Anyway, it's a beautiful day, so I took a quick shower and have been waiting for the outside temp to reach a reasonable high so that the kids can play outside. I was downstairs checking my email when I heard a bunch of ruckus upstairs. It sounded like they spilled the crayons in the kitchen, so I yelled upstairs that they needed to pick them up before they got stepped on and broken. Not long after that, Soren comes downstairs with a wet shirt. Great. So, I went upstairs to find that Synnove had taken a spray bottle and sprayed most of the artwork and pictures that were on the refrigerator. It was only 2 hours before this dreaded event, that I decided to post Synnove's priceless photo from the dance on the fridge. I was so incredibly disappointed that I nearly cried. Normally, I wouldn't care so much...but this pic was likely the most adorable pic of Synnove that I have ever possessed. The look of pride mixed with excitement on her face was too cute for words.
I have no idea why she decided to spray all the papers and pictures, but she did. Someday I'll laugh about it, but today I mourn the loss of such a precious memory.

Precious Moments

Synnove
Sometime last week Synnove woke feeling sick to her stomach. Turns out she was just really hungry, and some crackers cured her. Anyway, later that morning, she was still not 100% and had some really bad cramps while going to the bathroom. I stood there with her and she pipes up and says...
"Does Jesus make my tummy hurt?"
I say "I don't think He wants our tummies to hurt, but sometimes He allows them to hurt."
Then, after a long pause she says...
"I think I should ask FiFi (Heidi--one of her favorite cousin's) to ask Jesus into her tummy."
It then dawned on me that she thought that Jesus was REALLY in her "tummy." and I said...
"Well, I think that would be a good thing to do" and tried explaining further (probably unsuccessfully).

Soren
Every night it's my job to put Soren to bed. And, like most nights these days, he always has things to add to our nightly prayers. Half the time I can't even understand him because of that darn "guckie" in his mouth. Anyway, last night we said our prayers and I laid him in bed and reminded him that Jesus loved him very much...even more than daddy, mama, and Novie. And then he adds..."and Soren too..." Then I pinched his nose with a goodnight and he pats his chest and says excitedly, "God is on my heart!" I reassured him that "yes, Jesus is in your heart" and left the room misty-eyed trying to recall a time when Adam or I ever told him about Jesus being in our hearts...nothing came to mind.

Party on the Hill!

Well, yesterday was predicted to be the last day of sledding for us folks who live near the coast. And after a week of talking about it, my mom decided to toss around the idea of having a sledding party. This is hard to do because everyone works...and everyone would have to brave the roads to get to our house. Since yesterday was likely the warmest all week and the rain was predicted to come, it seemed like the conditions would be as good as they could get without our snow melting. So, after several phone calls and much convincing (my dad was being a scrooge) we decided to plan on meeting at our house at 7pm. That was actually the earliest time everyone could get here! Anyway, at around 5ish, the sleet started to fall off and on, but we didn't let that detour our plans. Everyone eventually made it, and we were sledding by 7:15. Even Daniel...who decided to brave the trails from his house to ours on his 4-wheeler with no headlights! He taped little flashlights to the front and wore a headlamp! What a nut =)

I was happy to see that my Uncle Don came with Heidi (who had spent the night at our house the night before...and had already had her fill of sledding with the kids) and brought 2 lanterns. What an awesome idea THAT was! We had gone sledding at night the two nights previous, but we being towed by the 4-wheeler, and didn't need lights. I wasn't sure how we were going to safely get several people on several different sleds down the hill without some sort of light...Uncle Don saved the party! I tried to take a picture of the hill in the dark, but it didn't work so well. Below, you can sort of see the 2 lanterns on each side of the slope...

The sleet stopped, and the rain started to fall just as we were getting started. But, there was no wind so we stayed quite warm as long as we had enough clothes on. My mom, dad, and brother were a bit late in coming. Mom brought 7-layer bean dip and put it in the oven when they got there. Dad was one of the designated "pushers" as he was either too chicken or too "old" to go down himself.
There were several sleds to choose from, so several people would be at the bottom of the hill waiting for a ride up from Adam who was towing us all back up with the 4-wheeler. We tried our best to get as many people up in one trip as we could. Pictured below from left to right...Henry, Sophie (Chris and Elise's dog), Chris, Daniel, and Heidi.

In the back from left to right...Don, Heidi, Dad, Chris...and Elise, Mom, and Soren on the sled.

Adam was on the ATV the whole time. He got in a couple of runs at the end when 1/2 the group had gone inside to warm up with chips and dip.

Despite the rain, it turned out to be a good time. In this family, we're all about the memory-making. We try our best to take our "togetherness" opportunities when we can. I feel so blessed to live so close to my family and hope that their spontaneous spirit never runs dry!

Wind and Rain

I thought I'd get some blogging in before my power inevitably shuts down. I guess there's a big storm brewing for today! Since living out here in Knappa, we haven't really experienced a BIG storm...or maybe we have? The weather here is very different from what I'm used to. Even though we only live maybe 20 miles away from the coast, it makes a big difference. At my parents' home in Warrenton you can actually hear the ocean! Storms in Warrenton/Astoria are epic and often. As a kid, I used to love storm season. I couldn't wait for the power to go out! For some reason, it didn't take much for the power to go out...but it hardly ever stayed out for longer than a few hours. This was always such a great disappointment...especially on school days.

I think there were only 2 or 3 times (all while I was in high school) when we either didn't have school, or were sent home because either the power went out for too long, or there was a big storm coming (big storm of '96). I also have a few memories of stormy elementary school days. One time, the wind was blowing SO hard, that as I was walking home from school, the wind literally lifted me off the ground! It happened right in front of my house...right were the HUGE mud puddle always sat during the rainy season. And, of course, that's where I landed. And to top that off, the bus drove through the puddle and drenched me even more. This is NO joke...this REALLY happened! It was a scene straight out of the movies! I remember my mom being upset with me as I walked through the door. I don't think she believed my Mary Poppins story.

Several years later (my sophomore year in hs), my parents were in the process of building their new house and we were all living in a tent (my parents in a trailer). We lived like the Beverly Hillbillies from August through November. Anyway, one time my best friend Ann invited me over to spend the night. I was sooo thankful that she did because sleeping in the tent would have been quite scary. She lived in Gearhart, less than a mile away from the beach, and we had the most exciting thunder and lighting storm I have ever seen! The whole sky lit up like it was day! I can't remember if that was the same storm that we chased her camp tent all the way through the neighborhood. It was hilarious! We chased that tent from house to house in horizontal rain.

Not long after that, we were still living outside, but we had moved our living quarters under the finished deck. This, in my opinion, was not a smart move, as our tent became more vulnerable. By this time, storm season was in full swing. Us kids lived in a very large 3-room tent. My brother and sister slept in one "room," I slept in another "room," and our 3 dressers lived in the large room in the front. The sleeping rooms were in the back, and were unprotected (no barrier from the wind). So, when the wind blew, we didn't sleep. One night in particular, I remember fighting to keep my bed from lifting off the ground! The wind would gust, and my head would bang on the ground. My mom called it "character building"....I called it...well...not that.

After high school, I went to college. I distinctly remember people complaining about the rain. And unless you are from the coast...particularly the North Oregon Coast you have little reason to complain. I did a quick Google search and found a website that listed the 10 wettest and rainiest cities in the United States...and Astoria, OR ranks 3rd!!!! 3rd in annual rainfall inches, and 3rd in annual rainy days!! Check it out... "ten rainiest cities" and "10 wettest cities" http://web2.airmail.net/danb1/usrecords.htm

It may rain a lot here, but I still love it....especially the mild summers. But, after living in the Portland area for most of 10 years, it has been an adjustment. You know, the DAY we moved back with my parents last year there was a storm and we lost power. What a welcome home!

Lizards, Cars, Trees, Eggs, Rubber Chickens, Etc.

I'm just playing picture catch-up from the last few weeks...

NO, this is NOT a salamander!!! This LIZARD was in my HOUSE!! I had to catch it with a wad of baby wipes and toss it outside myself (Adam was at work). I have never seen a lizard in this area of Oregon before...but here it is! It was probably 8-9 inches long.


This is Soren's newest best friend..."bokka bokka." It's a small rubber chicken that he carries around and makes nests for, kisses, and hugs. He's got it in October while at Deals Only (a local discount store) with my mom...it used to be a key chain. In the pictures, the infamous chicken is wearing a dress that I put on it from one of Synnove's miniature Barbies.

Notice the "nest" happens to be inside a play cooking pot...ha ha.


Here's a couple of photos from Thanksgiving. My grandma Barbara always has toys stashed for the kids to play with. Soren found a box of cars and even the "big" boys got in on the fun.

And here's another great shot. Sleeping...wrestling...typical after-feast activities.

Here's a shot from when we tried to burn some of our brush-pile a couple of weeks ago. We invited Chris and Elise for a hot dog roast.
Last Sunday we went to Beaverton for Samantha's (my niece) 8th birthday at the Oregon Gymnastics Academy. I didn't really get any good pics...but here's one of Synnove anyway.

I thought I'd snap a shot of some of our eggs! Our hens have not been laying in the last few months, but recently we've had 4 hens starting up again. The eggs on the top are from our Old English hens...they're like cute mini-chickens that lay cute mini-eggs. This is probably a weeks worth of eggs from 4 hens.

Adam decided to give the kids their own trees for their rooms this year since we have a bunch we'll be getting rid of anyway around the property. They decorated them last night. Soren loved the "Tigger-Pooh" ornaments, as he calls all Winnie the Pooh characters. You can also catch a glimpse of the awesome 70's carpet!

Synnove really got into it, despite her sparse tree. I couldn't get her to stop being silly to get a good picture =)