Showing posts with label marraige. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marraige. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Milestones of Marriage

I think this week is going by too slowly. Surprisingly, my days haven't been filled to the brim with endless things to do. Correction: there is ALWAYS endless things to do! I suppose there's nothing pressing for me to do...so I've been sitting around...procrastinating. You know that feeling you get when life slows down a bit? Instead of doing the things that you've been meaning to do, you do nothing? Well, that's me this week. Synnove and Soren are out of school. Adam, though he was scheduled to take the entire week off, had to go to work yesterday and today. He will also be gone for most of tomorrow and the next day as well...doing things away from us. It all depresses me a bit.

My dear Adam...he's been so busy. Hunting, trapping, fixing, working, traveling, sleeping. *sigh*...I've been sitting here for the last 15 minutes thinking on what I want to say next. All I can come up with is this: Life is constant compromise. Adam is forever being pulled, and he does the best he can to balance the tugs.

Adam and I both reached 30 this year, and next month we will have been "together" for 11 years. We have established a rhythm...a cycle of give and take. It works for us. But, in the last year, our lives have changed dramatically. Maybe Adam doesn't feel it as much as I do, but it is undeniably different. Both of us have started new adventures. In the last year, Adam has started his own trapping business and has become a "rookie" Honda/Mitsubishi mechanic. And I have successfully established my business, and become the busy mom of a preschooler and kindergartner. As a result, dad, mom, husband, and wife duties have become exponentially more challenging. And, when posed with a choice of who comes first...the answer is always the same: the kids.

Weekends are full. They have been full since last March. We don't get a break. Adam and I tried to go on a date over the summer...lol! It never happened. Last Saturday we had a relatively plan-free day and sleeping in sounded divine. The kids got up at 7:00 and "snuggle time" was completely eliminated...let alone sleeping in. I know that there will come a day when I will miss the kids barging into our room screaming that one is chasing the other and that they need our help to save them. Today is not that day.

The last time Adam and I had some alone time together was the night before we picked up our "new" car in October. We arranged for the kids to stay at my parent's house because we had to get up early the next morning. I remember thinking it would be fun to go out that night, but we were both so pooped that we decided to pick up some groceries and spend the evening at home. We turned in early so that we could get up at 5AM to make the long drive to Salem. Fortunately, we made a fun day of it before rushing home to pick up the kids.

Heh...we take what we can get!

Marriage is a perfectly planned-out journey. If you do it the right way,after you get married, you spend all of your free time together and build a trust. You live together and learn that life can be blissful and challenging. Then, you have kids. You fall in love again and discover the balance between spouse and child. As your kids mature, the marriage should mature. You learn sacrifice, compromise, and the importance of communication. Your lives begin to separate and trials seem endless, but your marriage grows stronger because of the strong foundation you have established. You realize that your spouse is your constant and the love you have for them flourishes into a realm that no other person could fully understand. You grow old...you've found your soul mate...one of the greatest, if not the greatest, gifts you could ever receive.

Quite honestly, I love my life. I love my husband. I love my kids. And though I wish that Adam and I could spend more time together, I know that our relationship continues to grow. We get on each other's nerves, we wish things that aren't possible, we pursue, we pull away, and we doubt. But without those things, the moments of laughter, appreciation, love, and forgiveness wouldn't be as wonderful.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sweet Nuptials

About a month ago, while attending Hannah's bridal shower, I was asked if I would be willing to come early to the wedding to help with makeup. Of course, I was all for it and made plans to do so. Mom, Elise, and I were going to go up a day early to visit with the family (whom we don't see enough of) and go to the rehearsal. Elise ended up getting sick, so Mom and I headed down to Oregon City on Friday by ourselves. Long story short....we got lost...Facebook for iPhone saved us.

We stayed late chatting and finally got to the hotel at around 11. We got up early the next morning and headed to the church. Everything was well organized and we were on a tight schedule to get everything done. I was told I was going to be helping just 3 or 4 people with makeup. By the time I was done, I had made up 7 faces. All seemed happy with the results, and I was happy to do it. Just being present in the bridal party room is always a fun privilege.

Dad, Adam, and the kids arrived a bit before the ceremony so that they could get a good seat and I could fix Synnove's hair. The kids looked so cute in their Easter outfits. I just couldn't resist saving them till Easter!!


The couple (Hannah and Zachary) broke tradition to get photos taken before the ceremony. I wanted to stay and watch the photos, but Mom and I had to rush back to the hotel before lunch to check out and get our dresses on. When we got back, I did MORE makeup! The girls were all so sweet. I wish I had taken some pictures of them, but I was too busy to pick up the camera.


The ceremony was perfect. Hannah and Zach actually had their first kiss when the pastor announced "you may now kiss the bride." It was QUITE the kiss. I can hardly imagine how incredibly special that must have been for them. Hannah could barely stand after the 5-10 second kiss...she was so weak in the knees!


The reception was filled with good food and fun. One of Hannah's bridesmaids actually made the cake (it was soooo good!), and Hannah and Zach managed to make quite a mess with that first slice. They were so taken with one another....so in love, and having so much fun. Their first dance was a joy to watch...as they both know how to dance. Afterwards, Tim got to dance with his little girl...literally. I think he must tower at least 2 feet above her!


It was getting late and the kids were getting antsy so we headed out to the car. On our way, we caught a glimpse of the getaway car! They had plans to stay in Portland a couple of nights before heading to Hawaii for 10 days!

For those that don't know, Hannah Roach, and her family, are good friends of our family from a loooong time ago. Her Dad, Tim, was my Caravan's (kind of like girl/boy scouts at chruch) leader and took me to my first DC Talk concert at Jesus Northwest back when I was in like 6th grade. Kelli, Hannah's mom, taught me how to tole paint. Tim, Kelli, Hannah, Caleb, and Bethany moved to Tillamook something like 17 or 18 years ago, though they still remain our dear friends.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Tale of 9 Vehicles...A Love Story

Once upon a time there was a boy named Adam. Adam was a cute, smart boy who attended Oregon State University. This boy also owned, not one, but, two vehicles...a car and a motorcycle. Being that he was a poor college student, he decided to leave the two at home to save money. During the warmer months, he brought his motorcycle to school...but that wasn't too often. ANYway, one day he met a girl named Nicole...


She drove a 1989 Ford Ranger that was owned by her parents. Nicole, also a poor college student, could not afford to purchase the truck to take to school with her, so it stayed at home. Now, this was quite a dilemma, as Nicole attended George Fox University which was about an hour away from Oregon State. How were the two going to see each other? By this time, a "situation" had happened with Adam's car and he sold it to his sister, and because it was winter, the motorcycle was out of the question. Adam LOVED his motorcycle, as he had gotten it brand new...but he loved Nicole more...

...So, he decided it was time to trade it in to get something a little more practical. So, one spring day, Nicole borrowed a car from a friend to take Adam home to go car shopping with his Dad. Later that afternoon, Adam drove into Penn Parking Lot with an eyesore. It was a jacked up black 1995 Ford Ranger with a roll bar, and lovely purple and turquoise decals covering the sides. It didn't even have 4-wheel drive! It was ugly, but he assured me that he would fix it up and make it nice. Anyway, he made a great trade, but still owed some money on it that he would eventually pay off by summertime. And yes, Adam was true to his word, and spent all summer scraping off decals and adding his own flair...they deemed it "Truckie" aka "The Love Truck."

Time went on, along with a series of mechanical problems...but nothing too earth shattering. Nicole started student teaching and needed a vehicle, so her parents allowed her to take her Ford Ranger to school. They were the Ranger couple! Adam even traded Rangers with her when hers broke down, and he rode the bus...he's such a sweetie.

After a while Adam's and Nicole's relationship blossomed and they made plans to marry. Shortly before the wedding, Nicole was scouring the Internet classifieds to find a job near their soon-to-be apartment in Corvallis and stressed out about the prospect of only having one vehicle. She didn't have any money...not even enough money to buy the '89 Silver Bullet (Nicole's Ranger) with 200,000 miles and no power steering that her parents so graciously loaned her after she totalled the '89 Chevy Caprice in high school. Despite it's problems, she had grown to love that little truck and all it's quirks...her and her friends shared many adventures in that little beast! Anyway, I digress....So, Nicole's parents, even after all the $$ they were forking out for her wedding, gifted her the truck! Hooray!! Her stress was lifted and she was extremely appreciative!

Adam and Nicole married, moved to Corvallis, Adam started back up at school again, and Nicole was without a job. After a few months, money was getting tight, and Nicole started getting desperate for work. With no elementary school positions to be found, preschool, temps, and McDonald's were all that was left. Fortunately, she found a preschool position and the couple's financial worries were somewhat lifted. Not long after that, the Silver Bullet continued having some issues that were gradually getting worse and could no longer be tolerated. The last straw finally came when Nicole was all but stranded with a dead vehicle in the middle of an intersection. After getting out her Dad's "bag o' tricks" in the glove box, She was able to make it home.

Adam and Nicole began searching for a "new" vehicle. They wanted a 4-door SUV. They happened upon a lease return with lower miles and ended up buying it from a guy in Tigard who ONLY sold Ford Explorers. Despite adding a car payment to the budget, Nicole was ecstatic! When they got home, they posted an ad in the Nickel Ads for the Silver Ranger and ended up selling it for $450 to an older couple who wanted to use it on their ranch...perfect fit for the Bullet! Here's a pic of Adam and Nicole a week after the big purchase.

Summer came and budget cuts were made in the school system. Nicole was laid off...but later found a wonderful teaching job in Eugene (50 min. commute). To save on gas, Nicole usually drove Adam's truck...but occasionally took the Explorer. One morning, as Nicole was driving the Explorer she discovered it was having some shifting issues. $$Cha-ching$$! They were living paycheck to paycheck and this repair was gonna cause some serious damage to their wallets. Turns out that ALL the Explorers were having the same problems. This was only the beginning of their "Ford" problems.

Time went on, they bought a house, and had a baby girl. Life was good. Life was also taking it's toll on Adam's truck. Their goal was to use wood as their main source of heat, and Truckie could only hold small loads. Plus, Nicole was pregnant again, and they wanted a truck that could hold their whole family, and hopefully tow a travel trailer someday. After scouring Craigslist and selling Truckie for an unbelievable amount of money, Adam found the truck they were gonna buy (1999 Ford F250)...adding another car payment (Explorer was not paid off).

Not long after that purchase, the Explorer started having shifting troubles again. Adam and Nicole could NOT believe it! They thought their car was fixed! After an evaluation by a mechanic, they were told that it needed a whole new transmission...$3,500! OUCH! Instead of fixing it right away, they decided to live with the problem for a while and save up some money to pay for it in cash. Nicole just wanted to get rid of it, but with the transmission trouble, the car wasn't worth much and it wasn't practical. Within a week or two after finding that out, the truck engine had some sort of blow-out that cost them a whopping $4,000!!! This was Ford's 3rd strike on their family, as this was also a flaw in Ford engineering that was happening to many other Ford truck owners. There went the transmission budget!

Frustrated and broke, Adam and Nicole put the transmission on the back burner and prayed that the Explorer would last until they could figure something out. When the couple moved in with Nicole's parents, and when Adam landed it in a ditch (hit black ice), they were disappointed that it wasn't totalled.

After moving into their new house in Astoria they used the money from the sale of their house to pay off their vehicles, and they planned to purchase a commuter car for Adam to take to work since gas was like $4.50 a gallon. Adam researched for the most fuel efficient vehicle that they could afford to pay cash for. He found that a series of Honda Civics (can't remember the year range) were their best bet. He had a stroke of luck when his Mom led him to the car that he would eventually buy...a turquoise 1992 Honda Civic Hatchback...Actually, one of Nicole's "dream" cars when she was a 6th grader...

It has a banged up/oxidized hood, but other than that it is in AWESOME condition! The interior is like new, has a great stereo, custom wheels, and a rebuilt engine.

6 months later someone ran into Adam while he was driving the Explorer...and it was totalled (click HERE for story). It was a blessing, really. They planned to use the insurance money to purchase a car for Nicole to drive. They didn't want any car payments...so they, again, searched for something fairly cheap, but quality. Months passed, expenses came up, and the car budget dwindled. THEN, strike 4 came when we found that their F250 needed some repairs. $2,500 later...their car budget was practically nothing.

By this time, Nicole was resolved to drive the Honda, despite the fact that it was only a 2-door and getting the kids in and out of their car seats was a challenge. She found herself missing the Explorer that she had grown to hate SO much (for it's many mechanical issues). Adam, on the other hand, searched up and down for a REALLY cheap commuter since his cheap commuter was now the family sedan. He searched for months...literally. The family visited a handful of trailer parks after inquiring about many Craigslist ads. I'm not kidding! He eventually found a 1986 Mitsubishi Montero in Olympia (also at a trailer park) and drove it home. It reeked of cigarettes and was extremely dirty. Nicole, disgusted, spent 2 full days cleaning it inside and out. They have practically gutted the entire inside of the thing and are now searching Craigslist to find another one to buy so that Adam can use the parts. You wouldn't believe how many of these cars are out there. It's now Adam's little project and he hopes to turn it into something really nice someday. So much for the REALLY cheap commuter ;)


Today, the couple is very happy with 3 working vehicles. They may not be driving in style with power windows, leather interior, and shiny paint....but they don't owe a cent on any one of them!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Some Ramblings

The ups and downs have continued into this week. I blame it all on hormones. I lack energy and will power. I continue to have a positive outlook and don't plan on giving up. As long as I don't gain any weight, I will feel that I'm still being successful. I know this will pass in a few days and I'll be back to full steam ahead!

Synnove woke with a fever night before last, and a sore throat. She hasn't been feeling well ever since even though her fever was gone by morning. We still managed to have some friends over yesterday, and the kids got to play outside in the 65 degree weather! It seems as if Synnove just has a weird bug with a constant headache. She woke again this morning with a fever and her tummy hurting. I thought I would be in for a day of vomit clean-up, but it turns out she was just really really hungry. Her fever has gone, but she still has a headache. Child sicknesses baffle me sometimes, but I'm so glad that at least she's able to communicate her suffering. When she was a baby I would always spend time wondering, worrying, and trying to figure out the root problem. But, it has turned out many times that Adam's intuition is better than my own. Or maybe he's just able to assess child situations in a calmer manner?

I'm so thankful for my husband. He brings more to the table than just the bacon, and I certainly couldn't survive as well as I do without him. I honestly didn't think that a marriage could be so completely successful in every way. As we get older and continue to learn more about each other, life gets easier, and I fall more deeply in love with him. And do you know what the best part is? We're the only two people in the entire world that get to experience the kind of life that we have. And it's all because of God's grace and answer to prayer.