This Was Meant to be a Post About Homeschooling

I've been over it for months. So completely over it.

*Sigh*

I don't see any point in sharing my opinion on today's headlines. The truth is so far buried under the dirt of world politics that there is little hope for discovery. It's kind of like watching an episode of "The Curse of Oak Island." Have you ever been sucked into that show? They are always searching out new ways to find a legendary treasure that's been buried for centuries. They find new clues and small bits of hope, but never unearth the goal. Every week a new episode, and every year a new season. 

That said, I haven't stopped asking the questions. However, I've begun to lose faith in people in general. For some, there is no such thing as logic, critical thinking, or proper debate. Seriously...it's not a thing. Y'all should read "The Fallacy Detective: 38 Lessons on How to Recognize Bad Reasoning." Answers are hard to come by, and I certainly don't have them. I'd like to be part of the discussion, but I've been reduced to being Charlie Brown's teacher..."wah wah wah, waaah wah waaah." Speaking is a waste of energy because nothing is heard or understood. All of us are enemies, except for those that agree with our "narrative" (getting real tired of that word).

This is what gets me. Why must we be enemies?

The thing is, we are no longer driven by love. We are driven by emotion. Emotions are a blessing, and they give us meaning and personality. However, we live in a culture where emotions are the compass we live by. We are told to live out "our truth" and be who we want to be and do what we want to do. Self-control is a thing of the past. Sacrifice is a thing of the past. LOVE is a thing of the past. Think about it.

I love this passage written by Peter. It explains how it's not enough to have beliefs and knowledge alone. We need to add all the other things to it! When we speak and listen using these principles we will be more effective...

"For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."  2 Peter 1:5-8

And just because this is a passage from the Bible, written by an apostle of Jesus to first century Christians, doesn't mean it can't apply to you...yes, YOU. 21st century Christian, non-christian, political right, political left...you name it! 

There is no doubt, the world is full of people who care. They want the best of the best. They want peace, health, prosperity. Deep down we are all in self-protect mode. And I think there is grace for that. But just think...if everyone just took a step back and said things and HEARD things using love and self-control? Sprinkle in a little logical reasoning and maybe progress could be made. Maybe we could even be allies!

You know, I had intended to write a post about homeschooling. Ha! Another day. 

 

Fear and the Lady in the Checkout Line

In my past I have lived with fear. Truly crippling fear...fear that plagued every minute of every day. Fear that made me sick, caused my hair to fall out, gave me sleepless nights, and left me feeling so immensely alone. Sometimes that fear creeps back, but for the most part, I have (with God's incredible mercy) overcome. It didn't happen overnight. It took years. And I cannot help but think that so many are in that same boat today as we struggle to stay afloat in this world crisis.

Yesterday I was in the checkout line at the grocery store. There was a lady ahead of me already at the pay station...more than 6 feet away...and her pile of groceries were over halfway up the conveyor belt. Aware of my space, I felt safe to start putting my groceries on the belt. Then, like an exasperated mother reprimanding her child, the lady ahead of me demanded I wait to put my groceries on the belt. I wanted to cry. I decided to find a new line.

I've been in that lady's shoes. I know all too well. And I would do most ANYthing to not ever feel fear like that again. I found that my hands were shaking as I emptied my cart. My heart literally hurt as I contemplated our future in that moment: Our future seems grim. Our future is fear. Crippling fear. And it may take years to recover. 

So many feelings. So many opinions. So many fears. We need to stop viewing each other as enemies with sides. We ALL have fears, and our fears are different! Some are afraid of this virus, some are afraid of losing everything, some are afraid of a communist takeover...etc, etc. We need to stop assuming that our fears are somehow more justified than someone else's just because they are different. I drive down the road and signs tell me to "stay home to save lives" and I think of the 7-year-old who has to go to the store with his single mother. What thoughts plague his mind as he passes that sign? I think of the elderly lady isolated in her room as she struggles to breathe with no family by her side. Does she have the will to breathe much longer when nobody seems to care to visit? I think of the business owner who has been told he's non-essential and cannot fathom how he can recover. Does he feel that the only way out is by a bullet?

Questions. So many questions. Never stop asking questions.

If you aren't on a path towards seeking truth, then I'd suggest a new path. There are rabbit trails here and there, and I'm certainly guilty of going down many of them. I'm the type of person who researches to a fault. I once spent 3 weeks researching car seats for toddlers...spending literally countless hours reading review after review. Hey, when your child AND your hard-earned money are on the line, you better know you're getting the best and at the best deal! I digress...but truth is the ultimate goal, is it not? In John 8:31-32 Jesus says, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine, and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." Do you believe that? I certainly do. I'm not a perfect person, but I do know that there is a perfect God and He holds the key to a life free of fear.

All that said, fear doesn't have to win in your life. Maybe take a step back and evaluate what the driving force behind your thoughts, words, and actions are. Fear can bring out the worst in me, for sure! My most favorite passage in the Bible to recite over and over is Psalm 91. When anxiety creeps in, I go to a quiet place and read it out loud to myself. Yes...out loud. I have to actually hear the words, and I believe there is power in speaking Truth audibly (that's "truth" with a capital "T"). Sometimes I have to read it until my heart stops racing, or until I fall asleep. I'll be honest, peace doesn't always come easily. I struggle with doubt, just like every other human on earth.

One last thought: GRACE. In a time when fear is at the forefront, smile when you don't want to, refrain from posting the angry comment, and for goodness sake, give people their space.

 Be well, my friends.

Lost: The Rest of the Story

It's been exactly two years (tomorrow) since I've written on this blog. I had written about the loss of my engagement ring. To me, it was an embarrassing and heartbreaking story. However, I chose to see the good in it and hoped that one day I could tell of how God had had a greater plan.

In the first few months after I lost my ring, I went through a mourning period. Finding a replacement was going to be difficult. I wanted the exact ring that Adam worked so hard to buy. When we got engaged, we were both struggling college students. And in the few months before our engagement, he had decided to take a term off of school to extend his summer internship. I didn't find out until later that his decision was driven by his plan to give me an epic engagement story (ring included). I will never forget looking inside that ring box while Adam awkwardly knelt inside that horse drawn carriage in Victoria, B.C. amidst onlookers awaiting my inevitable reply..."YES!"

There was no option to buy a brand new replacement as the jeweler was no longer local and no longer carried that design (duh...it's been a few years!). There were many many options to purchase ones that were almost the same, but that just didn't feel right to me. Ebay was my best option, and it didn't take long for me to find my ring. The only problem was that it was going to cost over $1k MORE than when Adam had purchased it brand new. I didn't want to pay that much for a used duplicate.

Over the next several months I would periodically check Ebay for 3-stone platinum rings in the hopes that I would find another one cheaper. I didn't have much luck. Then, one day around Thanksgiving  (8 months post-"tragedy") I saw that the ring I originally found was on sale. It was still going to be more than the original price, but by then I had resolved that no other replacement was going to suffice. But to be sure I had exhausted every avenue, I decided to spend a couple of hours on Ebay searching other listings...just hoping I would find one for cheaper. No such ring seemed to exist....until...I found a listing that sparked my interest. The picture was crooked and blurry. The additional pictures weren't much better. In fact, there was even a picture in the mix that wasn't of the ring listed! These folks looked like amateurs. I checked their other listings...all jewelry, and a 100% feedback score on over 2,000 sales. I was hopeful!

I was overcome with excitement at the possibility of this listing being a replacement. The price was almost too good to be true! It was only 25% of the cost of the other listing! I messaged the seller immediately requesting better pictures and asked if there was anything inscribed inside the band. He promptly replied the next morning with everything I asked...and he did NOT disappoint!! I was ecstatic!!!! There's a bit more to that story...but I'd rather not turn this post into a novel. In short, I had it shipped overnight mail (it didn't come!), and it arrived in 2 days...within a day or two of Adam and I's belated anniversary trip to Jamaica.

I really felt like finding that replacement ring was a HUGE blessing. When it arrived, I also discovered that it was the exact same size as my wedding band! It was as if it was meant to be.

Well...fast forward to earlier this month...

It was after church on Sunday, and I received a text from my friend Jackie asking me to call her. If you recall from my last post, Jackie is the owner of the sheep farm where my original ring was lost. She has been in the thick of lambing season and I thought she was wanting to see if maybe I could help out at the farm or something. Quite honestly, I wasn't expecting to hear her tell me a story and end it with."...found your ring." Say WHAT?!?!?!

You see, after searching for hours and hours in the driving rain through piles and piles sheep manure on two different occasions, we gave up. Our metal detectors (one was brand new) had both failed, and the task was just too overwhelming. We didn't know if the ring was even in the manure!

Jackie has a trusted friend that helps out on her farm who does metal detecting on the side. After we had failed to find it, she asked us if we would offer a reward to her metal detecting friend if he happened to find it. We, of course, said yes and offered up a very worthwhile price. Over the last two years that man has tried, on several occasions, to find my ring. 3 weeks ago, he was out trapping varmints on Jackie's farm and decided to take his metal detector. A varmint caught his eye over by that old manure pile, and he almost went back to his truck to exchange his metal detector for his gun...but he didn't. He found my ring instead. Adam couldn't withdraw the money fast enough...and by that afternoon, my ring...my irreplaceable treasure...had returned home.

I won't lie, it was slightly painful to pay that hefty reward after already spending the money to replace it. But, I know God's plans are greater than mine...and today I feel doubly blessed. Thank you Jesus!

Lost.

Yesterday was a full day. I had errands to do, my kids went fishing with their grandpa, we had dinner at my parents, and we ended the day helping a friend at her sheep farm. On my way into town we heard a story on the radio about a woman who accidentally threw her wedding ring away in New York City and the city sanitation workers miraculously found it. The kids and I were amazed as I glanced down at my hand and thought about what I would do if that were me.

Late that night, as I was about to settle into bed, I grabbed my left hand and felt a bare ring finger. Cue immediate panic. I summoned the kids and we started a mass search. My rings have been loose lately as I’ve lost a little weight, but not any more weight than I’d lost before (I had to get my rings sized up after having kids, so that tells you I’ve not yet reached a pre-pregnancy weight!). I went to all the places I’d been since being home for the night…feeding sheep, feeding chicks, the car, exercise downstairs, the bathroom. I called Fred Meyer because I’d been to the fitting room and thought maybe it fell off then. I was scouring my brain trying to think of when I last noticed it on. I wasn’t sure, but I had a strong feeling it was at my friend’s farm.

I prayed, asked my husband to pray, asked my parents to pray, asked Facebook to pray. I was sure that God would lead me to it somehow. I truly was sure. God led me to a lost ring one time when I was young, and that was one of my first memories of God answering a prayer that I had prayed. However, even though I knew that God could take care of this, the peace wouldn’t come. Then, a gift! God brought me a memory of sitting at my mom’s kitchen table playing with my rings before dinner. Phew! Thank you, Jesus! It was then that I knew it was either at my house or at the farm, and not at one of the public places I visited earlier in the day. It was enough peace to help me drift off to sleep.

This morning I woke to a text from Jackie (she’s my friend with the farm). She was headed over to the barn to start looking and suggested I hunt down a metal detector. Thanks to facebook, I was able to find one and after some calling and coordinating both the metal detector (my parents were bringing it from the other end of town) and I headed towards the farm an hour later.

My other friend, Beth, and her son were already there helping with farm chores. Within minutes, Beth found my rings!!! The metal detector hadn’t arrived with my parents yet, so I called them and they returned it to its owner. I was crying tears of joy…I was so overwhelmed. God had kept my rings safe and led us right to them!

I wish that was where the story ended.

Because we were there, we went ahead and started helping Jackie with more farm chores. I was constantly aware of my rings. I didn’t want to put them in my pocket for fear of losing them, so I put them back on my finger and tried my best to be constantly conscious of them. I didn’t really do much work while I was there. I mostly talked with Beth, watched the kids work, and responded to countless messages on my phone (so many wonderful people concerned about my rings!). I stayed in one general area and was constantly checking my hand to make sure my rings were still there. Then, I put my phone in my front pocket, pulled out my hand and realized my engagement ring was GONE! Seriously!?!?

I wasn’t too panicked because I hadn’t really gone anywhere. I figured I’d find it right away. We all started looking, and looking, and looking, and looking….and looking! I was dumbfounded and so embarrassed. I had just told Facebookland that my rings were found. We looked for at least 30 minutes before I finally text my parents to bring the metal detector. My mom came and we searched everywhere…MULTIPLE times. I was on my hands and knees in sheep poo! After everyone left, my mom and I and the kids all went to the giant poop pile in the field to search there as well. There was only a very slight chance it could have been in the poop pile that had just been shoveled out of the area I was standing in…but we couldn’t leave without searching. In total, we searched for at least 3 hours.

It didn’t make sense. I had never left that small (enclosed) area of the barn. In the time that I had it on my finger to the time that I realized it was missing was probably less than 5 minutes…but maybe I’m mistaken? I'd venture to say that it literally vanished.

I left the farm feeling quite defeated and sad, but strangely at peace.

I know where my ring is. It’s at a farm where my friend Jackie raises sheep. Jackie needs help because she very recently lost her husband to brain cancer and the farm chores during lambing season are too overwhelming for one person. Jackie lost her husband. I only lost my ring. And in the time that I was there, Jackie never ceased to encourage me and remind me of God’s power and His blessings. She is a blessing.

The verse that has been playing over and over in my head today…

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

I’m praying for the good. Maybe my ring has been hidden from me until God’s decides the time is right? You see, my God likes all the glory…and when my ring has been found, I’m gonna gladly give Him what He wants.

To be continued…

Church is Family

Family. Nobody should be without it.

Yesterday I was one of the teachers for children's church. The Bible application was a bit of a stretch for young kids, but the basis was about how the Lord blesses our families through us. We started out by putting the kids into two groups and asking them to make a list of things they had in common with each other. This was the absolute best. I loved watching them discover one another...smile, laugh, and even share in disgust. The other teacher and I wanted to let this activity linger. We decided that THIS was exactly what we needed to be doing in kid's church every single sunday (in some way). We ended up greatly modifying the lesson, and even changed the memory verse for the week. To be honest, the original Bible application was virtually lost. But hearts were blessed through this little family...the little children's church family.

There's an old chorus we used to sing at church all the time when I was a kid and it started out: "I'm so glad I'm a part of the Family of God..." Inherently, we all want to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. We want relationships. We need them, actually. Instead, so many of us are stuck in our own self-pity ("the church didn't reach out to me" or "the church offended me"), or our own self-righteousness ("I don't need the church"). The Family of God (church) is not immune to drama, scandal, cliques, deceit, failure, gossip, etc. And what's sad to me is that people leave the church because of these very things. As a result, issues are never dealt with and the spiritual growth of the church is stunted. But what the church needs is for those people to stay, share what they have in common, as well as their hurts, fears, joys, wisdom, etc. We need to help carry each other's burdens and love unconditionally. Sometimes, all that requires of us is that we just be there.

I had a lot more written on this topic, but I decided to erase it all. I don't know if it was because of fear (lack of faith), or wisdom. Or maybe I'm just a coward for not pointing out the truth. My imperfections and insecurities certainly don't help me to be bold for Christ. Whatever the reason, I just don't think the easily offended world wants to hear what I have to say.  However, I will ask this one question: If you call yourself a Christian, and you've excluded yourself from the Church (Family of God), what's your reasoning?

"The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance." (1 Corinthians 12:25-26 The Message)

We need to stick together through all the "yuck" and all the "yay."

And that's that.

The Good Word

Ever feel like you've been sucked into the vortex of article/blog overload? Everyone has an opinion. It doesn't matter what the topic is, somehow the writer manages to sway you one way or another. You may think you have kept your preconceived thoughts, and you are completely unconscious of the stronghold those written words have had on you. Influence. It's everywhere.

Today, as I was perusing my Facebook feed, I clicked on several "good reads." Some were local articles or news, others anecdotal, and a couple were of the religious/Christian genre. It's the latter that often sparks my attention the most. "What does this person have to say? And do I agree with it? I respect the person that 'shared' it...does that mean that this is what that person thinks? Should I share this post?" And so on. It was today, though, that I had stopped the dialogue going on in my head and said, "Enough."

The pause occurred while I was reading a fantastic blog. I had read it before, and I was going over the eloquent musings all over again. The author was sharing her thoughts on the importance of going to and bringing our kids up in church even when modern Christian-ish culture gives us countless excuses of why we shouldn't have to. My mind began racing. I was thinking of all the "good" sharing this blog could do. I thought, "It might make people question their priorities and make better choices." Then, the dreaded happened. A list of people started forming in my head. And it was then that I stopped myself. I didn't share it...I didn't even "like" it. Instead, I asked God's forgiveness.

I prayed, "Who am I, Lord?"

And then I thought of that blog writer..."Who is she, Lord?"

Thankfully, I knew that the answers were, "You are Mine, and she is Mine."

And that's just it!

Everyone that needed to hear that blog..."They are Yours, Lord...not mine."

Convicted.

Too often, I think, Christians rely on the thoughts of others to guide them through life. We buy the latest book from our favorite inspirational author at take notes in our journal. We attend the church Bible study and eat all the delicious desserts with some lovely people. We watch Christian movies and feel good about making good media choices. We scour YouTube for encouraging tidbits from our favorite pastors/speakers and think, "Ooo, that was a good word!" And I suppose these are all good things. I suppose we should do these things. Don't stop doing these things. But if these are the only things we're doing, then we've got it all wrong. We shouldn't be relying on the thoughts and studies of others, but rather the thoughts of God Himself and what he wants to say to us alone.

Convicted again.

I've got to read my Bible. Our church has been doing a series the past several weeks on spiritual disciplines. And after every Sunday I could honestly say, "Ooo, that was a good word!" Meditation, prayer, fasting, and Bible reading. I'm not doing enough of any of these things...and even if I was doing "enough"it still wouldn't be enough. I confess, I've struggled with reading my Bible my entire life. I've never stopped trying, but it's almost like I don't really know how to do it, how to start...it's overwhelming. I've stuck to the passages I know: the encouraging sections, the Psalms and Proverbs, the Gospels, and I've dipped my toes into the prophetic books. I know there's so much more. I also know God has a plan for me, and if I seek his Word, he'll help me find my way. I just have to start.

For the month of February I'm setting aside the pile of books that sits next to my bed. And for every night this month I'm planning to copy Bible verses in my journal from a list a friend shared. Seems so simple...a bit juvenile maybe...but I'm really looking forward to it. I'm excited to hear what God has to say to me through His "good Word."

Here's the list if you want to try it out too!

PS...

For Christmas I purchased the "Action Bible" for my kids to read. It is a book that has most all (if not all) of the stories of the Bible written in comic form. My kids know that it isn't a full Bible, but a fun way to read and understand God's story. It's a big book...and last night my son (he's 9) announced he'd finished the entire thing. The amazing thing is that he's now my walking Bible dictionary! He helps me figure Bible story details, corrects me when I'm wrong, and knows stories I've never read. Inspiring :) 

Painting Passion

Painting is one of my most favorite hobbies. No, it's my most favorite hobby. There was a time long ago that I attempted to enjoy tole painting, but I found it too technical and frustrating. I would spend hours fixing minor flaws and would end up being unhappy with the outcome. Then one day I decided I wanted to repaint my old gray hand-me-down desk. I can't really remember, but I was maybe 12 or 13 at the time? It was a long process that I didn't know much about. We had a little storage shed behind our house and I laid down newspapers in cramped quarters and started stripping using paint thinner. Oy..the task was stinky, messy, and never-ending. I remember thinking, "what have I gotten myself into?" But, there was no going back, I had to finish what I had started. Once I sanded it, I was ready to paint. It was more difficult than I had anticipated. Painting a chair with rounded legs was a headache...and once I reached the desktop I was struggling with brush marks and paint that was drying too fast. Then there was the realization that one coat of paint wasn't going to be enough. "What?! I have to paint it again?" The entire process took several days; maybe even weeks. Once it was finished I decided that there was no way I was going to reinstall the old bent and beat-up hardware, so I begged my mom to take me to Rite Aid to pick out new hardware. And, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure I had to buy it myself. Yes, there was a time long ago in which Rite Aid sold a decent selection of hardware...among other things. I didn't fall in love with any of the options, but I was so anxious to see my desk completely finished, that I settled for 5 shiny new knobs. Those knobs were installed within minutes of my arrival home. And it was then that I felt it...overwhelming satisfaction. A few years later I carefully lined all the drawers with elegant wallpaper that matched my room. Later, after I went to college, my mom dressed it up with tole painting (she was always better at that than I was) that matched the wallpaper. The ugly gray desk had become a treasure. A couple of years ago I replaced the second-rate Rite Aid knobs with glass ones and gave the desk to Synnove for Christmas.

Since finishing that first project, my love of painting has only increased. Becoming a homeowner was like wining the painting lottery! I had a whole house to fill with furniture on an extremely tight budget. I shopped Goodwill and my mother-in-law. In the short 2.5 years that we lived in our first home I painted a few walls, 3 dressers, a hutch, a crib, a bed, and a table. If I hadn't have birthed two babies in that time period, I probably would have painted more! 

When we moved into our current house, I had my work cut out for me. The house still had much of it's 1970's flair; wallpaper, white and pastel walls, dirty brick fireplace, and an entire basement adorned with raw tongue and groove cedar. I've since painted 90% of the ENTIRE house inside AND out. I've also painted the ins and outs of many of my friends' houses, my mom's house, my grandma's house, and my sister's house. Of course, this doesn't include all of the furniture pieces I've painted as well. The best part is I've enjoyed (almost) every minute of it.

It isn't very often that I paint something "just because." I usually have a purpose and vision in mind for each and every piece. A few weeks ago I was sitting down to sew a shower curtain at my old drop-leaf table that I painted for my kitchen in my first house. It was a red and yellow table placed in a room filled with beachy grays and turquoises. The only reason the table wasn't a complete out-of-place eyesore was because our downstairs still wears it's 1970's brick red/orange carpet. Originally the table was in storage until I started homeschooling and needed a table for our extra computer. It's placement was meant to be temporary (were intending to get a laptop), so I didn't care what it looked like. We've now been homeschooling for 3 years, and the table has not moved. The doldrums of Christmas break were starting to set in, and I was itching for a new project. This table was screaming to be re-done...so as soon as I finished that shower curtain, I carried that table out to the garage and started right away.

Remember how I stripped the paint on that first desk that I did? Well the experience was so unpleasant that I decided to avoid it whenever I could. I avoided it until my mother-in-law gave me this table for our first house. It had several layers of old paint and stripping it was a nightmare. I wasn't able to get two of the layers off, so I just sanded, primed and painted. Because I knew what was under my paint job from 11 years ago, I decided that avoiding stripping it AGAIN wasn't an option. Ugh. Stripping paint in your open-air garage in the middle of winter is not recommended. I'd say I spent around 20-25 hours over the course of several days stripping, scraping, and sanding. Like before, I quit before getting all the layers off. I primed and painted it a very bold teal color. And honestly, I was just gonna leave it at that...

But then I decided it might look cool with some words painted on it. I thought I'd find a Bible verse or a saying that might fit well with a sewing/crafting/project table. I had some different ideas on how I might do that, but nothing I was finding was exciting me much. I started looking into doing French typography...but creating a French typography stencil was going to be insanely difficult, and I wanted to finish the table within a reasonable amount of time.

I searched vintage graphics on thegraphicsfairy.com and found one of a vintage clothing stamp. I thought it quite fitting for a sewing table and decided to upload the graphic on blockposters.com. Blockposters is a free service that takes your picture or graphic and makes it big and prints it in pieces that fit on standard printer-size paper. To achieve the size I wanted, I needed it printed on EIGHT pieces of cardstock. I then proceeded to subject myself to 8 continuous hours of xacto-knife torture. I take that back...I took one break to make dinner and give my hand a much needed massage.

It took a couple of hours to stencil and touch-up. I also added some touches to the drawers, back cabinet (not shown in pics), and table-ends. Then I shabbied up the entire piece with sandpaper so that some of the white primer would show on the edges, etc. making sure I also gave the stenciled graphic a good sanding as well. It was then that I just left it for an hour or so. I looked at it, and looked at it again. I debated back and forth on if I should add the "dirty" antique glaze. In the end, I resolved to add it.

All that was left to do was to apply a couple of coats of Minwax satin Wipe-On-Poly, and get some new hardware.

I've spent more time and effort on this table than any other piece of furniture that I've refinished. My body ached at the end of every hour of work, but it was all worth it. There's nothing better than the satisfaction at the end of a job well done.