I think this week is going by too slowly. Surprisingly, my days haven't been filled to the brim with endless things to do. Correction: there is ALWAYS endless things to do! I suppose there's nothing pressing for me to do...so I've been sitting around...procrastinating. You know that feeling you get when life slows down a bit? Instead of doing the things that you've been meaning to do, you do nothing? Well, that's me this week. Synnove and Soren are out of school. Adam, though he was scheduled to take the entire week off, had to go to work yesterday and today. He will also be gone for most of tomorrow and the next day as well...doing things away from us. It all depresses me a bit.
My dear Adam...he's been so busy. Hunting, trapping, fixing, working, traveling, sleeping. *sigh*...I've been sitting here for the last 15 minutes thinking on what I want to say next. All I can come up with is this: Life is constant compromise. Adam is forever being pulled, and he does the best he can to balance the tugs.
Adam and I both reached 30 this year, and next month we will have been "together" for 11 years. We have established a rhythm...a cycle of give and take. It works for us. But, in the last year, our lives have changed dramatically. Maybe Adam doesn't feel it as much as I do, but it is undeniably different. Both of us have started new adventures. In the last year, Adam has started his own trapping business and has become a "rookie" Honda/Mitsubishi mechanic. And I have successfully established my business, and become the busy mom of a preschooler and kindergartner. As a result, dad, mom, husband, and wife duties have become exponentially more challenging. And, when posed with a choice of who comes first...the answer is always the same: the kids.
Weekends are full. They have been full since last March. We don't get a break. Adam and I tried to go on a date over the summer...lol! It never happened. Last Saturday we had a relatively plan-free day and sleeping in sounded divine. The kids got up at 7:00 and "snuggle time" was completely eliminated...let alone sleeping in. I know that there will come a day when I will miss the kids barging into our room screaming that one is chasing the other and that they need our help to save them. Today is not that day.
The last time Adam and I had some alone time together was the night before we picked up our "new" car in October. We arranged for the kids to stay at my parent's house because we had to get up early the next morning. I remember thinking it would be fun to go out that night, but we were both so pooped that we decided to pick up some groceries and spend the evening at home. We turned in early so that we could get up at 5AM to make the long drive to Salem. Fortunately, we made a fun day of it before rushing home to pick up the kids.
Heh...we take what we can get!
Marriage is a perfectly planned-out journey. If you do it the right way,after you get married, you spend all of your free time together and build a trust. You live together and learn that life can be blissful and challenging. Then, you have kids. You fall in love again and discover the balance between spouse and child. As your kids mature, the marriage should mature. You learn sacrifice, compromise, and the importance of communication. Your lives begin to separate and trials seem endless, but your marriage grows stronger because of the strong foundation you have established. You realize that your spouse is your constant and the love you have for them flourishes into a realm that no other person could fully understand. You grow old...you've found your soul mate...one of the greatest, if not the greatest, gifts you could ever receive.
Quite honestly, I love my life. I love my husband. I love my kids. And though I wish that Adam and I could spend more time together, I know that our relationship continues to grow. We get on each other's nerves, we wish things that aren't possible, we pursue, we pull away, and we doubt. But without those things, the moments of laughter, appreciation, love, and forgiveness wouldn't be as wonderful.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
2 comments:
very good blog, thank you sissy for words of wisdom. i love you
Some have said that there are only two things one can count on... death and taxes. But they are wrong, it's change. Life will always hand you changes, it's those who have learned what you have learned, that turn those challenges into opportunities to learn and grow. Your life blesses mine...thank you for sharing it :)
I love you.
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