The Berry End of the 2012-1013 School Year

School is finally over.  Our last day was June 14th with Synnove finishing up her last few lessons of math.  The major change is now our new normal and the upset is virtually nil.  I am happy.  We didn't accomplish the things I intended, but we survived.  Thankfully, our days started to smooth out as the busy-ness of spring started to creep...not to mention the magnetic draw to venture out into our unusually warm and beautiful spring weather!  Who'd have thought I'd be able to get a nice brown glow from a week of sunbathing in April?!  I will say, though, our school days often still lasted till evening, but not because of screaming fits of rage and refusal.  Sunshine on the little piece of heaven we call "home" is a constant distraction, especially after being cooped up all winter.

 

We are officially enrolled with Oregon Connections Academy for the fall, and I'm looking forward to starting fresh.  The idea of doing 100% home school has been permanently placed on the back burner(for now).  I can never say "for sure" that things won't change in the future.  I just can't imagine putting myself, or my kids, through another change.  I'm not ready, nor am I dissatisfied with the program we are currently in.  I realize that there are a LOT of fantastic programs out there and that there are some that would be much better than what we're doing.  But, I've weighed the options in my head, and I really feel that ORCA is the compromise that will work best for the situation we, as a family, are in.  ORCA provides "flexible structure."  I had legitimate reasons for why I never wanted to home school...ORCA allows for those reasons to still stand (to some degree).

 

Summer is a welcome break...as always.  It's funny how some things just don't change.  For instance, the kids have been at each other's throats this last week!  It really was a true "first week of summer break" even though the kids weren't in regular school.  Haha!

 

On the 13th we went on one last ORCA field trip for the school year with Soren's super-awesome teacher, Mr. Jason Webber.  Jason was also my friend Andrea's daughter's teacher (this was ideal for planning and coordinating school stuff!).  Andrea and I caravaned with 6 kids to Sauvie Island to pick strawberries in the uncooperative weather.  We got SOAKED, but made the best of it.

 

 

Raelynn and Soren (Mr. Webber's 1st graders)



 

Jason's mom, Jason's daughter Hazel, Katelynn, Andrea, Rae (in the back), and Synnove



Synnove and Kate with boots caked in mud trying not to slip on the way back to pay

Rae, Jason, Soren, and Synnove

Me as a Classroom Teacher

My full-time student teaching practicum was difficult.  For some odd reason I had been placed in a bilingual classroom where about 2/3 of students were Hispanic and many of them spoke little or no English.  I don't speak spanish.  In addition to the language barrier, I had at least 3 students on a strict behavior plan, 3-4 medicated ADD/ADHD students, 1 severely learning disabled student, and 1 student with Asberger's syndrome.  Quite honestly, I felt like I was running a circus.  I was the only student in my 30-student elementary education cohort that had to be visited on-site by my professor.  My professor had to see with her own eyes what I was dealing with on a daily basis.  She agreed; I was a special case.

Despite the many issues I had, I really did enjoy the good times I spent with the students.  It was hard to get much of any actual teaching done, considering I didn't speak Spanish.  My cooperating teacher had to be in the classroom at all times to translate for me.  Plus, I was constantly chasing my Asberger's student around the room and trying to keep him from being disruptive and out of control (his parents refused to agree with a diagnosis, so he couldn't be put on an IEP and didn't have an aid). There were days I would go home and cry...but it was the hearts of my students that kept me going.  They were kind, generous, and understanding.  And even though that was 11 years ago, I can still see their faces and remember their names.

When I was done with student teaching, I wasn't that interested in getting a job in a public school (go figure!).  But, jobs were scarce, so I applied for anything.  I interviewed for 2 or 3 positions, but there was always a better, more experienced applicant.  I even registered as a sub in the Corvallis, Albany, and Lebanon school districts...but I never got a call...there were too many subs, and teachers already had their favorites. By December, I was desperate to work ANYwhere.  I started applying at preschools, Head Start, and "glorified" daycares.  I interviewed for two positions.  One paid minimum wage (daycare) with little opportunity for a pay raise, and the other actually paid a salary!  If I remember correctly, the salary was around $18,000 with FULL benefits.  Plus, it was an actual "teacher" position.  I wasn't the lead teacher, but frankly, I didn't care.  I just needed a job.

The job was exhausting and monotonous.  I enjoyed the people I worked with, but the students were extremely challenging.  I worked at a facility for high-risk, and often low-income, students.  And, ohmygoodnessgracious...my patience was tested hourly.  In order to get through a day, I often felt I needed to be an expert in speech and vision impairment, autism, sensory disorders, and SEVERE behavior.  There was one student in particular...I will never forget him.  We needed two teachers to restrain him in the hallway on a daily basis.  He would spit at you, cuss at you, kick you...he even smeared his own feces on the wall once.

So many of the kids were victims of abuse or divorce.  Many of the others were just in need of extra help.  It was kind of like running a sort of group OT session for 9 hours each day (I worked in an "extended-day" program).  A typical OT session is one on one...so you can only imagine how chaotic my days often were.

I worked there for about 9 very long months until I was laid off due to statewide budget cuts.  It was a blessing, really.  A few weeks later, I landed a teaching position at a private Christian school in Eugene.  It was an hour commute, but I was getting the opportunity to teach with two of my fellow GFU graduates!  The pay was virtually exactly the same as my preschool job once you factored in the fact that they offered no health benefits.  Woo hoo!??

Poor pay aside, I was just happy to finally be in a teaching position that I thoroughly enjoyed.  I loved it!  I had 11 2nd and 3rd graders that I looked forward to seeing each and every day.  And, the staff was like family.  Sure, I had issues on occasion...and about 90% of those issues were from parents. I was screamed at (yes, I said "screamed"), lectured, and virtually threatened.  Issues in private school settings often deal with angry parents.  I think they presume that because they pay for their kids' education, they are entitled to special treatment.  Little do they know, private schools are usually poorer and have much fewer resources than public schools.  The issues usually got smoothed out, but some parents are never happy.  Thankfully, I had a principal that backed me up 100%. 

At the end of the school year I found out I was pregnant, Adam was graduating for the 2nd time (graduated 3 times in all!), and we were moving.  I've never gone back to teaching, and I have little desire to ever teach in a classroom again.  I think, in order to be a successful teacher, one needs to be extremely passionate about it.  One would have to be in order to put up with all the abuse!

Looking back, I'm not sure why I was placed in such challenging positions.  Maybe it's because God knew I needed the experience? Haha...no, seriously.  Each child is different. Each age is different. There is no fool-proof formula for success.  Then, when you find something that works, the situation changes, and you are back to square one!

I'm not holding my breath, but the roller coaster I've been on for the last 2.5 months seems to be slowing down.  I've had a solid 4 days of home school success!  I'm elated!  Today, we were able to finish school before lunch!!  Finally, we may just be able to achieve that flexibility I was hoping for :)

The Long Overdue Home School Update

Phew...I've survived 9 whole weeks.

Like most people, I've had many challenges in my life.  When my daughter was born, life changed.  God had entrusted me to care for her, love her, and teach her how to find her way.  I don't think I will ever forget how I felt those first few weeks of being Synnove's Mom.  I was lonely, exhausted, and defeated.  I'm not sure what I thought was going to happen.  I was prepared for the challenge of bringing home a newborn...but I wasn't prepared for Synnove.

This is a perfect picture of how homeschooling has been.  Going into it, I knew it was going to be difficult.  I knew the behavior issues would escalate.  However, I was not prepared for such a severe degree of escalation.  I'm not sure I have the proper words to describe what the eyes of our house have witnessed in the last several weeks.  You may think you understand.  You may think you have an equally challenging child.  But, I have a strong hunch that you don't.  I think the only person on Earth who can identify with my plight is my mother...because I am her daughter.

Being "me" is my only saving grace.  That, and the fact that God is on my side.  I understand her complicated inner workings, yet they cannot be labeled.  I've read books, searched websites, and talked to countless individuals.  I have come up with few answers.  One of the few things I'm sure of is that I most definitely made the right decision.  And another thing I'm sure of...I (we) will be blessed for it.

We made small progress today, and I can only hope that progress will continue.  As I seek God and put His Word at the forefront of our days, I begin to see light.  Teaching will, once again, become a joy and I will actually want to get out of bed in the morning.  I don't want to admit it, but I have reached that fragile point where I just can't take it anymore. I'm learning to let go.  I'm learning to let God.  Today we started with prayer...prayer on our knees.  Two minutes later, as another sting ensued, we continued with tears.  I can't help it.  My heart just perpetually breaks...and the bandage of bitterness that I've used for so many years to conceal hurt has lost it's effectiveness.  My son keeps me going...he picks up the pieces of my heart.  He is my Jesus in the flesh and shows me how to love when love just doesn't seem possible.

I am so thankful for each of my children.  And my love for them is so deep that it actually causes pain in my soul.  My time with them is short, and it is so very important that I be the best mom I can be.  God gave me these lives to care for on Earth, and he expects me to make them my number one priority.  Also...without them, I wouldn't be who I am today.  They teach me things about myself, give me new perspectives, and sanctify my faith.  God's handiwork is perfect! I may be in one of the greatest trials of my life, but I can't help but be excited for what's to come. 

More details on homeschooling coming soon...   :)

A New Year, A New Beginning

It's the day after Christmas, and I have a million things to do.  There are still gifts in opened and unopened boxes all over the house.  The kids are currently enjoying our brand new flat screen amongst blocks of Styrofoam and ripped open clear plastic bags.  Adam is off running errands and spending gift cards from last Christmas. And I'm just sitting here overwhelmed, so overwhelmed that I don't know where to start. 

In the last month or so, I've been trying to get the downstairs organized and sorted.  It's gone nowhere.  Well, not completely nowhere...just almost nowhere.  As usual, life has gotten in the way.  Mostly, our joyous holiday season was interrupted by a most unfortunate event; my cousin Bryan's suicide.  I've contemplated blogging on that...and maybe I will someday, but not today.  Anyway, after a good two weeks of grief and brain fog I had to find the time to find 26 thoughtful gifts for Christmas. This number doesn't include my husband, or the gifts that Santa brings...so I had my work cut out for me! Normally, I don't wait until after Thanksgiving to get my shopping done.  So, finding the time to organize amongst shopping, taking care of my family (2 bouts of strep, 3 colds, and a tummy bug), school, work, and whatever else I do as a virtually single parent was near impossible.  I say "virtually single parent" because Adam has been traveling about 80% of the time in the last 3-4 months.  With all that said, I found myself asking "why?"  Why, as a stay-at-home mom, can I not find the time to get anything done?

I've said it before...I enjoy being busy.  I like doing things for people, working on projects, being involved with school and church activities, etc.  It was my hope that my life would slow down once both kids were in school full time.  Quite the contrary has happened.  Sure, I may have a few slower mornings where I get to enjoy some "me" time, but once the clock strikes 2:40 life begins.  That's about the time I get in the car (if I'm not in it already) and head to pick up the kids from school.  The kids are in school for 7 hours, and they have no desire to think about school when they get home, let alone do their homework.  This is a touchy subject for me.  I hate homework.  As a kid, I always tried my best to make sure I managed my time well enough at school to not have to do any of it.  Usually, I succeeded, and it was like a reward.  School has changed in the last several years and now homework is part of every child's day.  Assigned homework.  Daily assigned homework.  And when you have a kindergartner and a 2nd grader, it might as well be called "daily assigned parent homework."  I, along with my kids, do this homework every night.  And despite the fact that it shouldn't take that long...it does.  Add that to bath time, dinner time, and play time...you are left with no. more. time.  Forget extra activities, going to town, etc.  Believe me, I do actually understand why kids have assigned homework these days.  And it's not just homework that wears me down.  Really, that's just the tip of the iceberg!

There is a point to this rambling...and I'm getting to it.

So why have I been trying to clear and organize my downstairs? Because I'm taking the plunge.  I'm going to do what I said I would NEVER do. I'm going to home school my kids.  I'm going to start out with a public online charter, and maybe do 100% home school in the future.

I still have mixed feelings about this decision.  I love the school my kids attend.  I think, as far as public schools go, it's pretty awesome.  My kids have great friends there, and fantastic teachers. I guess I just want something more for my family.  I want to give my kids more time to be kids...more time to enjoy the home that they love.  I want to teach them how to be successful, responsible, contributing members of this world that God created.  I also want to build better relationships with them.  As it sits now, the time I spend with them is short, strained, and often on-the-go. 

Yes, this is a commitment...a very big time commitment on my part.  I say I don't have enough time.  Well, my days will look very different with two school-age kids in tow all the time.  And I can't fully predict the future, but I have a strong hunch that the stress in my life is going to start to diminish. Sounds crazy, but I have high hopes.

Bottom line: The Lord has blessed me with the ability to stay home with my kids.  He has also blessed me with a good education...a degree in elementary education, to be exact! So why not try out this home school thing?  I'm hoping for the best, but if I find it doesn't work out, I have a great school to send them back to.

Brownsmead Campout

(From Mid-August 2012)

 

For those that don't live in the area, Brownsmead is a small farming community that is basically on a Columbia River flood plain.  It's quite beautiful when it isn't covered in water...haha!  Brownsmead is a part of the Knappa/Svensen community and we all share Astoria's zip code.  My dear friend Andrea Weaver lives in Brownsmead where her and her husband Craig raise beef cattle.  Craig's family owns and operates Aldrich Point Dairy (also in Brownsmead) which wholesales milk to the famous "Tillamook" brand factories. Craig all but runs the dairy, and I'm sure one day soon he will take over completely. 

 

Anyway, at around mid-summer Andrea's parents graciously gave her their old travel trailer figuring her family would use it more than they. Andrea was stoked and immediately began devising plans to go on a trip.  It's "maiden voyage" was to the Clatsop County Fair and shortly after that...her "back 40."  Yep, we towed our trailers to her back yard.  Their cattle farm is on Blind Slough.  Country kids can find endless things to do when you provide them with a giant field, some dirt, a campfire, and a slough. 

 

We camped three nights total...mainly just our two trailers.  Our friend Sarah Rogers and her kids stayed one night in a tent as well.  While we were there, we had several visitors (Jasper's, Nicholson's, Jacobson's, Kinder's, and Adams') and overall, it was a great time.

 

Raelynn showing off her catch to Brayden, Katelynn, Emily...Cody is staring off the other way.

We had well-planned meals.  This was BBQ chicken night.

Andrea and I 

Soren was CONSTANTLY in the fire...Cody joined the fun

The Nicholson's brought their bean-bag game.  It was pretty competitive! This is Andrea and Daniel Jasper...not sure who their partners were in this round.

Andrea's brother Nick is a fishing fool! He was constantly baiting hooks and here he caught at least two catfish on one cast.  I filleted those slimy fish the next day and we ate them.  They were quite tasty!!

All the kids are impressed with the catfish

The kids caught quite a handful of frogs.

 

Synnove and Kate on the mini

Even the girls got their hands dirty :)

Card games in the trailer. I actually have a better picture of the kids with a flash, but I thought this picture captured the moment much better.  Fun memories :)

Fruit

I think it was the perfect summer on the coast.  We even had enough sun to grow some fruit! Over the last couple of years, Adam has planted several trees.  I admit, I haven't been as "on board" with this investment as I could have, especially since many of the trees we purchased were already starting to mature.  I think we have somewhere between 13 and 15 trees...and they are all different. We've got plums, pears, cherries, nectarines, apricots, and various apples.  I know that a few have died, but not sure which ones.  This year we were able to harvest a few from about 1/2 of the trees.  I think the most exciting harvest was the nectarines! I would have never thought we could grow them in this climate!

 

 



Golden Apple

 

Yummy Nectarines!

 

The next 3 photos are from picking the old apple tree in front of our house.  It was LOADED this year!!

 

 

Here's a view of 1/2 our mini orchard/grove.  The kids are watering in their undies.  Guess they were hot that day...   :)

The Parts of my Summer that didn't Involve Photos

I know it's been a long time.  Truth is, I'm so overwhelmed with photos and stories of the rest of our eventful summer, that I don't even want to begin catching up.  Maybe I won't catch up.  Honestly, I could count on one hand the amount of hours I have spent sitting in front of my computer in the last several months.  Every day holds a new adventure and the sunshine has been a non-stop reminder of how sitting at my computer desk should be last on my to-do list.  This has been the sunniest coastal summer I can remember.  Growing up here made me appreciate sunny days...as we don't often get too many.  I think it's rained twice since the 4th of July...unreal.

Anyway, besides all the fun I had with my family, my summer was filled with change, sorrow, excitement, calamity, pain, and work.

Change:
Well, to make a long story short, Adam was finally rewarded with a promotion of sorts.  After 10 grueling months of double- and triple-duty, he was offered two different jobs within GP.  After a lot of prayer and weighing the pros and cons, he decided on taking a job for the pulp and paper division (North American Consumer Products) of Georgia Pacific.  He's now the leader of Chemical Process Safety for the division.  Yeah, he's kind of a big deal.  I'm super proud of him and glad to see that his under-appreciated hard work and success is being recognized and rewarded.

Since beginning his transition in July, he's been traveling a lot.  This will be a new "normal" for us as his new job requires 40-50% travel.  However, when he's not traveling, he gets to work from home! That's right folks, he no longer works at Wauna Mill!  As much as he will miss many of the people he worked with there, he's excited to be in a much more low-stress environment For now...and maybe even permanently...he has made himself an office down in his shop.  So far it's working out nicely.

Sorrow:
I've been on a mini roller coaster of heartache and hope with a dear relative of mine.  He's drug-addicted and beat down.  Satan has gripped his soul and my heart breaks for him.  By a series of God-ordained "coincidences" I was able to spend several moments with him on a handful of occasions...loving him and encouraging him the best way I know how.  Currently, he's in jail...and sadly, I feel relieved.  I continue to have hope and pray God's blessing over him.

Excitement:
For over a year I've been praying for a pastor to come to our area...someone to help us (me with other folks in the community) start a church.  And through a long and detailed and amazing series of events, God has answered my prayer. Oh my goodness gracious...God has answered my prayer!

Calamity:
My dad had a big health scare!  It's a long story that many already know.  To sum it up, he grew a huge lump on his neck over the course of a few days and had an extreme headache.  Our local hospital didn't know what it was so they sent him in an ambulance to OHSU.  After some tests and a lot of waiting they thought he might even have cancer!  In the end, doctors removed a very large thyroid cyst and half of his thyroid with it.  It took a bit to recover and he's still plugging away.  We are so thankful that God has restored him and his health!

Pain:
I hurt my foot!!  About a week before Labor Day my dog barreled into me and my poor foot got the brunt of it.  Basically, I lost a big chunk of skin and the rehab has been ridiculous!  Initially, I let it scab over and hobbled around for a good week wearing one shoe.  The bruising along with the road rash was painful.  Anyway, when I got home from our Labor Day camp trip, the pain seemed to get worse daily.  Every step I took made the scab pull away from my healthy skin and I could hardly walk.  I tried passing the time by enjoying the sun, but the sun made it hurt sooo bad...even covered and wet!  Long story short, I've had to keep the scab wet and the healing has been long.  I can only wear special sandals...even flip-flops are painful.  It's been nearly 4 weeks.  It's looking WAY better...but I still have a bit before I can wear real shoes. 

Other than that, Synnove badly bruised her tail bone when she fell out of a tree.  And Soren was bit in the face by a dog (in the dog's defense...she was provoked...but still unfortunate).  I'm glad we made it through another summer with no broken bones or hospital visits!

Work:
Andrea and I worked through the summer cleaning houses.  We took a few weeks off in August, but I managed to find other things to occupy my days.  Unfortunately, I didn't do one ounce of painting on our house (my intent)...but I did help a friend paint hers.  Adam has been working during his "free" time on the fence for our field.  He's also been tinkering around with his "new" car (ugh!).