The Day Just Didn't Start Off Right

Sickness is lurking in the house. Both the kids are stuffy and coughing and the bug has finally bitten me. I haven't been sleeping well since Adam left for Georgia on Saturday night, and I think my immune system has suffered. Anyway, I awoke, as usual, to the kids at 7 AM sharp begging for food. There is no food in the house. I have some cereal and milk, a half a loaf of bread, and a handful of past due clementines. I was feeling quite awful. I didn't fall asleep till around 3 AM, I had a splitting headache, my nose was stuffy, and my throat had a small fire in it. I gave the kids some cereal and headed back to bed.

I did not want to get out of bed. Synnove has had a ravenous appetite lately, and kept coming in to ask for more food. Usually, there is some granola bars or crackers or SOMEthing that the kids can get themselves to eat...but like I said before, the cupboards are empty. I allow her some fruit snacks. A bit later she comes in again begging for food. She eats what's left of the clementines. I'm tapped out. I need to make the trip to Longview to go to Winco, but the car is not sounding so good. I wish I had a better car...I'm really wishing that today. I'm wishing HARD. I'm wishing $10,000 will fall down from heaven. I wish I would have won that beautiful white Camry at the fair last year! *sigh*....I digress. By now it's 10:30 and I finally decide that I can no longer stay in my bed. I know...I'm a terrible and neglectful mother.

My head is aching pretty badly. I make some eggs so that I don't have to take medicine on an empty stomach. Synnove devours half of them and asks for more. It's almost lunch...she'll have to wait.

I head downstairs to get some clothes for Soren. I check out Synnove's room first...still a mess after her so-called cleaning yesterday. I hate a dirty room....but I guess the time is coming that I just have to let it go. It's her responsibility now. I can nit-pick till I'm hoarse, or I can accept that her version of clean is not mine. ANYway, back to Soren's room. I walk in to find the entire contents of his closet on the floor. In a somewhat ticked, yet exhausted voice, I ask Synnove..."what happened here?" Synnove replies, before even entering his room, "Soren did it." Oh really? Right. Anyway, I call down Soren who is 99% honest 99% of the time and ask him what happened. He says, "I didn't do it, Synnove did." Then, the blame game continues for a minute or two. I've caught Synnove lying quite a few times in the past several months, and it's so disappointing and frustrating. I'm trying not to sound too angry (not really working), and ask Synnove SEVERAL times not to lie to me and to tell me if she did it or not. She eventually says "Soren and I did it." Oh really? Right. Either way, Synnove lied, so she had to get punished. I won't go into detail...but disciplining Synnove always ends worse than it begins. And that is always more frustrating than the original offense.

I'm just too tired and in too much pain to try to get the kids to participate in cleaning up the mess, so I clean it up myself. Under the mountain of clothes I find one of Soren's favorite Christmas gifts crushed. That only adds to my building emotion. What next?

When the closet is finally clean, I calmly call the kids down to complete some simple clean-up tasks. I find that Soren has put on plastic underwear (he's been wearing them over a diaper at night lately) inside out (plastic side to the skin) under his pull-up. Uhh...ok? Goodness. So, I tell him to take them off and put only his pull-up on. This is something he is quite capable of doing, so I go into the other room to do a bit of clean-up. Not even a minute later, Soren comes up to me and says "I peed." I say "what do you mean, you peed?" He says, "I'm sorry mommy." I say, "what do you mean you peed??" He goes in and points to his closet. Let me just tell you that his closet doesn't go to the floor...the bottom of it hits my thigh...so it's kind of high up. ANYway, I say "you peed in your pants? or you peed somewhere else?" He says "I'm sorry." and points to the inside of the closet. There is pee all over the inside of his closet, on some of his clothes, and some of his stuffed animals. I cracked. I was done.

I could not help myself. Soren was covered in pee because his plastic pants were inside out, yet there was a huge puddle in the closet. How on earth did this happen? I angrily send him upstairs to the tub. I'm already frustrated with Soren, as he has been peeing his pants several times a day, every day for the last month. I'm wanting to scream. Instead, I sob. I sob hard.

When I'm done with my little breakdown, I decide to write a blog about it (this blog). The kids are upstairs watching a movie. I'm almost finished when I hear them venture downstairs. I go into the bathroom to see what they are doing. Soren is naked, and Synnove has no pants on. Both of them have just gone to the bathroom and I notice that the training potty is smeared with poop and they are attempting to wipe Soren's bum. POOP! Back to the tub they both went. While in the tub I notice that Synnove's leg has a bunch of black marks all over it. I ask her if it's marker. She says "no." I try to wipe it off thinking it's dirt, or heaven forbid, poop! It doesn't wipe off, and I say..."what is this?" Synnove replies sheepishly..."marker." Lie #2 for the day. My kids are on a roll.

The day has only just begun. It's Winco or bust....busted car, busted head, busted bottoms!! I'm praying it's not "bust."

Sibling Rivalry, and a Little Bit of Heaven

Lately, the kids have been getting on each other's nerves. They fight a LOT, scream at each other, and say mean things. I suppose it's a phase that siblings go through from time to time. But, it's been no fun for me, as I'm constantly breaking up ridiculous squabbles about who's looking at who, and who's touching who, etc. When all of this escalated about a week ago, I usually handled the situation by breaking them up and explaining how they were being hurtful/ridiculous/loud/inappropriate...whatever...then they would have to apologize and hug (very reluctantly). The tediousness of it all was making me crazy, as it was happening over and over and OVER again! Just as soon as I would walk away, they were already in each other's faces again.

This morning started off like most mornings have in the last week...with a series of fights. I was lying in bed trying to drag myself out, while the kids were playing in the other room. I was listening intently and all of a sudden Synnove decided to say something really hurtful to Soren for no reason whatsoever. That was the last straw of the morning, as I had already broken up a handful of squabbles already. I called Synnove into my room so that I could talk to her. She's in that lovely "I don't want to" phase where EVERYthing is a horrible inconvenience and she'll stand there in front of me with an awful look on her face, whining and contorting her body in all different directions...like talking to her is inflicting some sort of pain on her. I find it very disrespectful, so about 5 different times during our little 3 minute talk, I ask her to stand up straight and wipe the yucky look off her face. Anyway, I begin to talk to her about what the Bible says about loving one another and treating others as Jesus treats us, blah, blah blah. I tarried a bit in my lecture and also spoke a little bit about Heaven and living forever with Jesus. I was hoping that what I said would give her a bit of perspective.

After that, I went on to make some breakfast. Synnove wanted to help, so she was in the kitchen as well. She then went on to ask me some things about heaven. I can't remember everything she said, but she was obviously very interested in what it would be like to live there forever. She knows that Heaven is a place unlike anything she can imagine...but that doesn't stop her from imagining. Here are a few of the things that she said...

"but there won't be any restaurants there!"
"how will we eat, there won't be any food?"
"how will I get my bed there...how will I sleep if I don't have my bed?"
"Jesus isn't big enough to carry my bed to heaven!"

My Mother's Sweet Revenge

I could scream....every day. My kids frustrate me to no end sometimes. I'm sure all moms feel this way at some point...but this mom feels it on a regular basis. If there were toddler report cards, my daughter would get an A+ in whine, and an A++ in fit throwing. I just think that some kids are better at it than others! Most folks who know Synnove would disagree, and I suppose I'm proud of that. At least she's decent in public =)

Anyway, there are many days, including today, that start out quite awfully. Synnove wakes up whining and crying...loudly at 6:30AM. What is this 4-year-old whining about?? Well, your guess is as good as mine. There is absolutely NO reason for the uproar, other than the fact that she's probably just in a bad mood. Now, I'm no morning person, so waking to this so early in the morning takes me straight to my limit. I have absolutely no patience for it whatsoever. I get up quickly to try to calm her before she wakes Soren (who, thankfully, wakes up chipper about 95% of the time). There is no calming her. I ask her what the matter is SEVERAL times...no answer...just louder. By now I'm over my limit, and I'm beginning to sound pretty angry. I offer the TV...still more whine. She is completely unreasonable and unresponsive. I throw up my arms and leave the situation, as there is obviously nothing I can do. Keep in mind, this happens OFTEN...and it happens the same way every time. At about the time I start to walk away, she invents a problem. Problems vary from morning to morning...this morning it was..."I want daddy...I'm mad at him...he didn't give me a cereal bar." In the last few months, Synnove has been waking when Adam goes to work. And because it's so stinkin' early, he often gives her a snack and lets her watch TV while the rest of us sleep. Well, this morning, he had to get up extra early, so Synnove slept through it. SO, after about 5 minutes of uncontrollable whine, I finally get somewhere. Then, of course, my anger flares again, as Soren has been woken up and isn't too happy about it. He'll often sleep till 8...so at 6:30 he was still tired. He calmed down fairly quickly...but his coming upstairs triggered more whine in Synnove. Insert "me screaming" here!!

That was just one of many episodes from today...and it wasn't even the worst. I'm not proud of it, but I did raise my voice today...and I raised it pretty loudly. It was the only way I could assure that my kids could hear me over the whining/crying. Who likes repeating things over and over and over again? I certainly don't. My kids do though...they like asking the same question over and over and over again...and then asking "why?" over and over and over again. Ahh! I'm amazed that my brain doesn't bleed through my ears every day!

Mom, I love you, and I'm sorry for all of the pain I caused you as a young child. I'm now realizing that you had more patience than I ever gave you credit for. ~Nicole

SYNNOVE ELISE!!!

Before I begin, I'd like to preface that Synnove has been working on learning how to think before she acts. I have said to her many many times..."Synnove, when you are doing something, or you want to do something, you need to think in your head, 'would mommy or daddy think that it's ok for me to do this?' and if the answer is 'no' then you need to tell yourself to stop. If the answer is 'I don't know,' then you need to come ask mommy or daddy if it's ok first before you do it." It's hard raising this head-strong 4-year-old, so this is the book I'm reading...


With that said...

It all started on Thursday, the morning we woke with snow. Synnove wanted to go outside in the morning, but Soren wasn't feeling well and I had some business to deal with on the phone/computer. I told her we would go out, but that she needed to wait a bit. A bit later, I'm downstairs and I hear the doorbell ring several times (it's like 9AM). I knew it was one of the kids and was NOT happy that they had decided to venture outside on their own without telling me. I open the door to see Synnove in her footie jammies and her snow pants/boots. Frantic, I ask where Soren is, and she tells me..."out here somewhere..." My heart skips a beat, but am soon relieved to see that Soren was still inside. I give Synnove a good "talking to" and dress Soren up for the cold. I had been interrupted and was still in the middle of doing something, so I told the kids that I would be out in a few minutes. Letting them outside on their own is something I've done for quite some time, as they have proven themselves to stay within the invisible boundaries.

Ten or so minutes later, I venture outside. It's a beautiful day, there's snow on the ground, and there's not a sound in the air. No sound at all...none...nill...nada. I'm not panicking yet, but am yelling around the property for Synnove. No response. I look towards the field and see two sleds and two abandoned snow coats. My heart begins to pound. By now, I'm running around and screaming Synnove's name. Silence. I begin to think the worst, but convince myself that no bear or mountain lion would be roaming in such broad daylight...or would they?? Finally, I hear a faint voice and realize that at least one of the kids is down by the little stream. This stream is down a very long and fairly steep bank off the side of our property. Synnove has NEVER gone down there alone, and knows she isn't allowed. By now, I'm shaking and almost in tears, but greatly relieved. Without hesitation, I begin to make my way down. I can't see the kids yet, but at least I can hear them. Synnove isn't phased as I grab her arms and begin to frantically explain how terrified I was and how terribly WRONG she was do go down there...etc. Soren was near tears and telling me how cold he was. He was actually across the small creek and it was interesting trying to get him over the awkward path. I had already ordered Synnove to make her way to the house while I gathered up Soren. We went inside and didn't play outdoors for the rest of the day.

Earlier that morning, I had told the kids that Soren's room was off limits for the day. I had the humidifier set up next to his bed from the night before, didn't want to move it, and didn't want the kids tempted to touch it. The humidifier has been in either Synnove's or Soren's room for the last month as they have been trading sickness back and forth and have not had a problem touching it in the past...however, I didn't want to take the chance since the set-up in Soren's room was more accessible and elaborate. Anyway, I did catch them in there standing on TOP of Soren's built-in desk sometime later. I ordered them down, reminded them they weren't to be in there, and shut the door as best I could (his door doesn't shut).

The day went on, the kids freaked the poo out of me (creek story), I cleaned the house, Adam came home, blah, blah, blah. Bedtime came around and I walked into Soren's room to find that the entire contents of the humidifier (proly 3/4 gallon of water) had been dumped on the carpet. We found out that Synnove knew all about it and practically laughed in our faces. UNbelievable!! Adam "dealt" with her while I soaked two full bath towels with the water from the carpet and gave Soren a lecture on how he needed to make sure to tell Synnove "no" if she ever tried to get him to do something that he knew was wrong and to come tell mommy. That would have been the second time he'd heard that lecture that day.

As if the events of Thursday weren't enough...wait till you hear about Saturday...

On Saturday, we were set to leave in the morning to help Adam's mom move some things from her place to ours...as she is moving to Seattle to care for her parents and needs a place to store some excess. It was about 15 minutes before we were to leave. I was finishing getting dressed, Adam was gathering tie-downs and tarps outside, and the kids were ready and playing downstairs till we were to leave. Each of the kids has a separate baby monitor in their rooms so I can usually hear whatever is going on downstairs. It sounded like they were in Synnove's room playing some sort of game. Synnove kept saying "let's do purple" or "let's do orange" and saying "HIDE!!" whenever Adam opened the front door. I was trying to hurry and get ready, so I didn't check on them right away...but then my suspicions got the better of me. I make my way down to her room to find her door shut. I open it in complete HORROR!! At first I didn't know what I was even looking at. There was some sort of purple goo all over the carpet, sheets, their clothes, hair, etc. Soren's head was the worst...it was completely covered in it! Two seconds later I realize that they had gotten into my craft drawers in the utility room and grabbed craft glue (orange cap), and purple fabric paint. Again, this is something they have NEVER done before (getting into my craft drawers)! And, of course, Synnove was the instigator, as Soren doesn't even know how to open a door and couldn't even get into the utility room if he wanted to.

I was beyond words. No amount of me yelling, lecturing, etc. was ever going to make a dent in this disciplinary act of parenting after the lack of Synnove's remorse from Thursday's incidents, AND the fact that, despite the look on my face...Synnove, again, was laughing without the fear of the inevitable pain that was going to be on her backside.

Without hesitation, I went out the front door to yell at Adam to come and take care of Synnove (and Soren too). I had informed him that he had better be ticked off and ready to be firm...as he has a tendency to be a softie. Synnove knows that when daddy is the one dishing out the discipline, then she must be in some pretty serious business! Anyway, Adam and I both made it clear to them that what they did was...well, not good. I really wanted to take a picture of the kids before their bath, but didn't want to condone their bad behavior by making a humorous spectacle of them. Instead, I took pictures of their spoils everywhere else (see below).

We made it out the door relatively on time despite the delay. The kids behaved well during the long day of packing and driving. We didn't expect anything less from them, especially since their morning was so...so...something...I can't think of a good word for it. The truck was jam-packed in back, as well as in the cab. By about 3:30 we were on our way home. Grandma Patty had given them some things to take home, as well as some sidewalk chalk that they played with while we loaded the truck. Synnove had several things to keep her occupied, and it wasn't until we got home and I took her out of her seat that I realized what she had done. She had taken pink sidewalk chalk to her face, the window, side panel, and a brand new white lampshade (one of the things were were taking home from the move). SYNNOVE ELISE!!!! Let's just leave it at that.

Their clothes just after the fabric paint incident (of course they were wearing non-play-clothes)

This isn't a very good portrayal of the carpet, but her carpet is stuck this way until it gets replaced someday. Fortunately, the carpet in her room is already trashed. They also ruined Synnove's bed skirt and filled the play shopping cart (right) full of purple as well.

You can see the two tools of destruction on the right.

This is what I found in the utility room. I don't know HOW they found the craft glue as it would have been buried in my large scrapbooking cart. The fabric paint is something I forgot I even had. It was stashed in a drawer, in a white bag. They would have had to do some digging to find it.

Below is what was left AFTER I washed everything. They not only ruined their clothes and Synnove's sheets, but they also ruined MY favorite baby blanket...made by my Aunt Cindi 28 years ago. Needless to say, Saturday was a sad day in the Brown House.